‘But I need you to catch some of them,’ he said. ‘You’re not giving me what I need at the moment, Amanda. Can you do a couple of things for me?’
‘I don’t know, can I?’ I said. ‘What are they?’
‘I need you to give me a story,’ he said. ‘If it’s not going to be the “I also date women, are you cool with that?” story, that’s fine, but I need something. You started off really strong with the whole “I’m broken-hearted, I need to get over my ex, I’m here to find love again” angle, but it’s completely fallen away since the first night.’
It seemed impossible that he could think that. Couldn’t he tell how much Jac still whispered in my ear?
‘Remember, this is reality TV, not reality,’ Murray went on. ‘Fuck the truth. This is about stories. You want to do well, you’ve got to give me the ingredients to turn you into a character.’
‘How do I do that?’
‘You’re in the perfect position to do that!’ Murray said, an edge of exasperation coming into his voice. ‘You’ve got the whole intimacy portion of your date ahead! Tell him your sob story! Hell, tell him any story, just make itastory.’
‘Okay,’ I said slowly. ‘I can do that.’
‘Second thing,’ he said. ‘Stop making heart eyes at Dylan.’
‘Isn’t the whole point of this show that I make heart eyes at Dylan?’ I said. ‘I’m on a date with him. A date where he let me drive one of the most beautiful cars in the world! How do you expect menotto make heart eyes at him?’
‘Amanda,’ Murray said, ‘you know perfectly well which Dylan I mean.’
‘So tell me why you became a mechanic,’ Romeo-Dylan said to me, as we sat on artfully arranged cushions on the deck ofhis boat, a cheeseboard and a bottle of champagne in front of us. ‘How did you get interested in cars?’
‘It was because of my dad,’ I said. ‘He was a big car guy. He loved them. When I was a little kid, we lived in this house with three bedrooms. One was my parents’ room, one was my room, and one was Dad’s home office, and it was absolutelyplasteredwith pictures of cars. He also liked red ones, you’ll be pleased to know.’
Romeo-Dylan smiled and squeezed my hand. It didn’t feel quite right, his fingers laced through mine, but it gave me something to hold onto.
‘When I was about seven, he brought home this old broken down 1968 Pontiac Firebird,’ I said. ‘It was a wreck of a thing, really. It didn’t run, it was covered in rust, it was missing probably three quarters of the parts it needed… it was a mess. My mum was furious. I remember her yelling at my dad, being all, “Why did you buy this piece of crap? Do you think money grows on trees?” and he was like, “Honey, this is one of the finest muscle cars ever made, and when I fix her up, she’ll be worth more than money.”’
The boom mic above us dipped lower. I tried to ignore it, focusing on the space between Romeo-Dylan’s eyebrows.
He was a handsome man. I liked him so much.
His eyebrows weren’t a patch on hers, though.
‘So he got to work, fixing her up, and I helped,’ I said. ‘At the beginning I’m sure I got in the way more than being any actual help, but after a while, I turned into a proper little grease monkey. “Give me those tiny steady hands, Mandie,” he’d say to me. He had arthritis in a fewof his fingers, so I used to help him with all the jobs he couldn’t do.’
‘Did you finish the car?’ Romeo-Dylan asked, squeezing my hand again.
‘I did,’ I replied. ‘He didn’t. He died when I was twelve. Cancer.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what I would do if I lost either of my parents.’
‘It’s awful,’ I said. ‘You get used to it in time, to having this hole in your life where they used to be. But it never goes away.’
‘I can’t even imagine.’
‘My mum never remarried. Never really dated again. When Dad died, that was the end of her love life.’
I took a deep breath, then a sip of my champagne. Then another deep breath.
None of this was a lie, not even a little. But Murray and I had decided to tell the story this way, to make this leap, so even though it was the truth, I felt dishonest.
‘That’s not what I want, though,’ I said.
‘What do you mean?’ Romeo-Dylan asked.
I chanced a look into those kind eyes. ‘Before I came here,’ I said. ‘Not that long before, actually, I lost a partner. Someone that I loved.’
