That was definitely a penis.
Liam took one look at it and barked a surprised laugh.“I love what you did with the cheese.”
I hadn’t even spotted the cheese yet, but sure enough, there it was, placed strategically at one end of the omelette, with melted strands arcing out in an artful spray of cheese jizz.Chizz.
It was acockelette.
Amajesticcockelette with chizz.
I glowered at Andie.I thought you were my friend.
She chuckled.Yup.Best friend.And don’t you forget it.“Enjoy the majesty.”
Resigned, I picked up my fork and dug in.Dick-shaped or not, I wasn’t about to let good food go to waste.
thirty
book club isn’t the same for everyone, I guess
Liam
Thankyouforyourinterest, but the client has chosen to move forward with a different candidate.
I stared at my phone, rereading the latest in the long series of rejection emails to grace my inbox.
Somehow, the recruiters had gone from relentlessly pursuing me to rejecting me left and right.Chet and Chad had to have done something or bad-mouthed me in some way.Why else would companies who were salivating over me six months ago want nothing to do with me now?
My savings had already dried up, and thanks to using a large portion of it to finish paying back Nana, the money from my severance package was almost gone, too.I had to admit I was getting worried.
“Hey, man.You ready?”Greg’s three-piece suit was immaculate, and Mr.Fluffy’s matching tiny vest and jacket completed the look.
I blinked, shoving my worries aside to examine later.“You do know we’re going to a book club meeting and not a formal event, right?”
Greg scowled.“I always dress appropriately for an intellectual discussion.”
“Uh huh,” I said, nodding slowly.“I think you might be overdressed.”
Greg glanced at me, taking in my more casual attire with mild disdain.He didn’t care about being overdressed; that was clear.“What’s this book club all about, anyway?And where’s the copy of the book that you promised me?I’m unprepared, and it’s bringing back the anxiety of times I didn’t do my homework in school.”
I struggled to suppress my grin.If I were a better friend, I would warn Greg about what he was in for … but where was the fun in that?I was dying to see his expression when he got a look at the detailed notes in Mrs.Patterson’s copy of the book.And Mr.Patterson’s … artwork.He’d get the clean copy I bought himaftertheir particular brand of literary enthusiasm had thoroughly traumatized him.
“Oh, don’t worry about it,” I said with forced nonchalance.“We can pick up a copy for you at the meeting.And I’m sure it won’t take long for you to get caught up.The other members areextraordinarilyhelpful.”
Technically, I wasn’t lying, but I was walking a fine line.This would be hilarious.
Greg frowned.“Alright … but I don’t want to be late for my first meeting.”He paused before asking a little too casually, “You think Andie will be there?”
“She was at the last meeting.I imagine she’ll be at this one, too—unless she has an issue with her babysitter.”
Greg spun around with a stricken look.“Babysitter?She has kids?”
“Just the one, as far as I know.I met Carter yesterday.He’s a cool kid.”
Greg ran a hand through his hair, as far from calm as I’d ever seen him.“I didn’t know she had a kid.”
“Is that a problem?”
“What?No, of course not.”Greg rolled his eyes.“We barely know each other.You surprised me, is all.”
