“Whatever you say.”I dropped it and headed for the door.“Okay, let’s go then.”
Greg eyed me suspiciously.“I can’t remember the last time you were this excited about anything.This must be some book club.”
Poor Greg.He hadno ideawhat he was in for.
“I don’t get it.”Greg leaned forward, brows furrowed as he looked between Nana and Mrs.Patterson.“Is there a pump?Or a switch?How does it grow to whatever size is most acceptable to the alien’s mate?How does itknowthe mate’s preference?Is it sentient?”
I choked.You think you know a guy, then all of a sudden he’s asking your grandmother if an alien’s penis is sentient.
I’d left my first book club meeting a changed man, forever traumatized by my Nana’s sex toy commentary and Mrs.Patterson’s explicit notes.But Greg?He loved every second.Even Mr.Patterson’s sketches didn’t horrify him.
“Hey,” Maya sat beside me, bumping my shoulder and tipping her chin toward Greg.“He seems really into this.”
I shook my head, bewildered.“He really does.Not at all what I was expecting.”
“I thought you bought him a copy of the book?”she whispered.“Why’s he using Mrs.Patterson’s?”
I draped my arm along the back of the couch,achingto pull her in properly.She’d seemed reluctant to share the turn our relationship had taken with the Pattersons when we were at the diner, so maybe she wanted to take things slow?
Or maybe she didn’t want to go public at all.
The thought alone made my palms sweat.I wanted Maya to be mine, and I wanted everyone to know it.
“Hold up,” Greg’s voice cut through the noise in the room.“You’re telling me there’s alittle suckerabove it?How does that work?Are the women from that planet built the same as Earth women?Because that could be anespeciallyhelpful anatomical addition for use with human women.”
Maya laughed and murmured, “He’s going to lose his mind when he finds out what that sucker is really for.”
“Not the same,” Mr.Patterson said.“But they are quite astonishing in their own way.Isn’t that right, my love?”He gazed at his wife with adoration before kissing her cheek.“Not that anyone compares to you, darling.”
Mrs.Patterson tittered like a schoolgirl, clearly still head over heels in love with her husband after all these years.
“Aww.They’re kind of cute,” I whispered to Maya.
“Oh, you flatterer, you,” Mrs.Patterson cooed.“Just wait until we get home.I’ll take my teeth out and do that thing you like.”
I sucked in a horrified gasp and choked on my own spit.“I didnotneed to hear that,” I rasped, coughing out the last of my innocence.“And now I can never un-hear it.”
Maya cackled and snuggled closer.“You haven’t heard the half of it,” she whispered.“It gets much,muchworse.”
The warmth of her against me overrode my better judgment, and I pulled her close.She glanced at me and smiled.
Meanwhile, Greg—pen poised over his notebook—furrowed his brow.“How do I get one of these dicks for myself?”
I stifled a laugh.This was not at all what I expected when I invited Greg to book club.
“I mean, what toys do I need to buy to compare to a member of this magnitude?If this is what women are reading about and dreaming of, I need to be prepared.Is there a particular company I should focus on?”
Maya leaned in, her eyes dancing with mischief.
“If he’s anything like you?”She murmured, her voice low.“No toys are necessary.”
A sharp laugh burst out of me.Everyone turned to stare.Maya absolutely lost it.She doubled over, holding her stomach, trying desperately to suck in a breath between guffaws, and I wasn’t much better.Together, we giggled until everyone lost interest.
When I finally suppressed my laughter, I pulled Maya closer and poked her side.“You keep surprising me, Pipsqueak,” I whispered in her ear, risking getting caught as I nipped at her lobe.She gasped and leaned closer, her body drawn to mine as much as mine was to hers.“But you have no idea what I’m capable of in the bedroom,” I murmured.“The other night was a teaser.Next time, I’ll take my time and do it properly.”
Her cheeks flushed.She turned away, but the tiny smile on her lips told me she was deeply interested in finding out if I was telling the truth.
That would have to be enough for now.
