“Dude, I love wrestling,” Hollis said as he motioned for me to complete the next move.
Hollis Hawkins watches WWF?
“Me too. I watched this morning before I came over here.”
“I did too!” he exclaimed.
We joked about some of the wrestlers, and I almost got carried away talking about WWF. It was cool to be able to talk to someone about stuff.
Hollis walked me through the moves, step by step, and I eventually got him on the ground and wrapped my hand around his throat. I felt his throat move beneath my hand as he spoke. I imagined getting Sebastian pinned like this and ramming my knee into his stomach. See how he fucking liked it. Hollis showed me the role as if he were the attacker. When I pointed out that even though he had me on the ground that I could still use my hands to punch him, he reminded me that his hand was on my throat.
“All I need to do is squeeze in the right place and you’d lose consciousness.”
I was impressed by everything he knew about self-defense. No one would ever mess with Hollis, and if they did, he could take care of himself. Easily.
I learned a lot about Hollis today and that he didn’t deserve the smug, obnoxious, jock label that I had attached to him. I thought about how good he smelled too. Was the scent cologne? Aftershave? Just soap or shower gel? I had no idea what it was, but my senses would always know it as “Hollis.” He smelled damn good.
Sixteen years old/10th Grade/January
My eyes were closed as the water hit me in the face from the shower head. As I got ready for school, I couldn’t help but be glad winter break was over. Being home all the time nearly killed me, but Dad was letting me take the pills, so I had survived. Karate classes even paused for the holidays, so I had nothing to do but hide out in my room. When shit got really bad at home, I’d ride the bus around the city for the day to escape. I couldn’t walk around because walking too much hurt.
Though the pills Dad gave me helped, they weren’t my main reason for surviving. Knowing that Hollis and I were more than acquaintances kept me going. I liked to say we were friends, but I knew that was just a pipe dream. Hollis had tons of friends. I really just wanted to be his friend, and every time I thought of him, I thought about that hot girlfriend he had.
I wrapped my hand around my soapy cock and imagined for a moment that it was Hollis’ hand. I didn’t at all consider myself gay, or even bi, but there was something about Hollis Hawkins. I felt better just being around him. My imagination continued to run free with the fantasy of Hollis’ hand jacking me off. Hollis’ name was on the tip of my tongue, begging to be said out loud. But as I shot my load onto the tile of the shower wall, I winced in pain. I let go of my dick and crouched in the shower.
“Fuck,” I mumbled and reached for my stomach and lower abdomen with both hands. I stayed in that position until it subsided and then shut the water off.
As I dried off and got ready for school, worries of something really being wrong with my stomach found their way into my head again. I used to shrug it off and say that it didn’t matter. But now I kind of had a reason to live. I mean, I had a friend now. That was something to be excited to live for, wasn’t it?
I pulled on the new Nike sweatshirt that I got for Christmas and slung my backpack over my shoulder as I walked down the stairs. My stomach dropped as soon as I heard Sebastian’s voice in the kitchen. I glanced at the closed door to Dad’s home office as I walked to the kitchen. Maybe he’d be done and out before I left for school and I could talk to him about my stomach.
I set my backpack on one of the bar stools and unzipped the large portion.
“I made your lunch, Patrick,” Raquel said as she poured coffee in a mug. I frowned and walked toward the brown bag on the counter. “You’ll have to pick out whatever you want to take to drink.” I opened the brown bag and saw a baggie with a sandwich, a bag of chips, and an apple.
“Okay, thank you,” I said. I was somewhat confused because she had never made my lunch before.
I grabbed a can of Coke and put it into my backpack with the brown bag. I pulled a bowl and a glass out of the cabinet and went to the table where Sebastian was. I rolled my eyes when I saw him readingPlayboyat the table. After I poured my cereal and juice, I got up to get a spoon.
“Do you know if Dad will be out of his office before I leave for school?” I asked Raquel. She looked annoyed by my question and then opened her pill bottle and poured out one of the familiar pills that Dad usually gave me.
“I don’t know when your father will be out.”
I nodded as I sat down.
“Eli is in there with him,” Sebastian said.
That had always been so weird. Ever since Eli went off to college, Dad seemed so interested in talking to him constantly. When Eli came to visit, it was like Dad was his best friend instead of Sebastian. Eli was studying to be a psychiatrist or something.
“Did you need something from your dad before school?” Raquel asked me.
I glanced at Sebastian, but then looked away when he repeatedly pressed his tongue against the inside of his mouth to make a dick sucking motion.
“Patrick!” Raquel yelled.
“What?”
“Do. You. Need. Anything?” she slowly asked me. Sebastian smacked his hand on the table and laughed.
