“You don’t know shit about me,” I said. I noticed how shaky my voice was. He had no fucking clue what a day in my life was like. I felt like my anger from this morning was spilling over, and I was seconds from hitting this guy.
“You’re right. I don’t. And you don’t know anything about me,” Hollis said.
I frowned at him. Was he agreeing with me?
“Let’s forget the past and move forward. I’m Hollis.”
Fuck, why do you have to be so nice too? Was he really going to forget the shit I’d said and give me another chance? Maybe he really was the saint that everyone acted like he was.
Hollis raised his eyebrows and stretched his hand farther toward me. The anger and hate subsided when I realized that he was willing to forget my attitude and give me a second chance. I swallowed and tentatively reached to shake his hand.
“I’m Patrick,” I said as our hands connected. I quickly looked down at our hands as we shook, but then my eyes went back to his when he said it was nice to meet me and then used my name.
He said my name. I couldn’t detect any anger or hate or disgust in his voice. I thought about our interaction all while the instructors were showing us the takedown move we’d be practicing today. It was difficult, but I shook Hollis from my head and focused on the instructors.
“Ready to try?” Hollis asked me. Our proximity gave me a whiff of his fresh, clean scent. It was almost intoxicating.
He explained what we’d do, and when he made the first move, I didn’t know what happened, but I moved away and grabbed his arm as he brought it toward me.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.I swallowed hard and felt like I was really screwing this up. I stared at him, but he didn’t seem pissed. I was lucky, too, because there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Hollis could kick the life right out of me. He could probably kill Sebastian with one kick.
I apologized, and he told me not to worry about it and to try to focus. Feeling grateful and lucky he hadn’t killed me yet, I nodded. Hollis explained what we’d do again, and I nodded several times to let him know that I understood.
“Ready?”
“Yes, ready.”
He brought his arm forward so fast! I blinked and didn’t even see him move his hand that was suddenly beside my head. I took a step back and looked away. I was fucking this up badly.
“I’m not actually going to hit you, Patrick,” he said.
He used my name.
“How about we try the move with you going first?” he asked.
Pull it together! He’s trying to work with you! Don’t blow it!
“I don’t know how to do it.”
“I’ll talk you through it. We’ll go step by step. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed. I moved my arm so my hand was next to his face. I looked in his eyes and waited for the next instruction.
“Good. Okay, so if you were the attacker, I’d grab your arm and pull you toward me,” Hollis explained as he pulled me toward him.
No!
When Hollis pulled me toward him, I felt piercing pain in my right side and stomach. I moved away and stood upright. He stared at me, probably thinking I was an idiot, and I tried to tell if the tissues had shifted. He repeated a reminder that he wasn’t going to really hurt me. I knew that, but he didn’t understand that I was already hurting. I didn’t want to not continue, but I felt like my body was being torn apart right now.
While I tried to regain my composure, I watched Hollis and an assistant go through the moves. I didn’t think I could stand being knocked down. What if I was bleeding and when my body hit the mat, the blood would seep through?
“Ready?” he asked. I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I prepared for major embarrassment if I was bleeding.
“Yes. Can you be the attacker?” At least with him as the attacker, my body wouldn’t shatter when he slammed me to the mats.
“Yep,” Hollis agreed.
Hollis made some funny faces just like I’d seen on WWF. He was actually pretty good at making some of the faces, and he made me laugh. He stopped his motions and looked at me with a smile on his face. Damn, his fucking smile was something else. No wonder he had every girl at school eating out of his hand. He was just a really nice guy. For a second, I thought that maybe he thought I was laughing at him in a derogatory way rather than in a complimentary way for his spot-on WWF imitations. I thought I’d better explain why I was laughing.
“Just like the funny moves the wrestlers on TV make,” I explained.
