“My dad died.” She knew nothing of my dad, but it was my only shot to just sit with her for awhile.
“Damn. I’m sorry, Hudson.” He looked down and then back inside. “Hang on, she’s here. She hadn’t wanted to come to thedoor.”
Oh.
My friend didn’t want to see me. It took a moment or two for that to sink in. Yep, now the tearsfell.
Coming here had been a bad idea. I slowly walked down the hallway and before the elevator arrived, Tiffanyappeared.
“Ryan,” she calledsympathetically.
“It’s okay,” I said loud enough so that she would hear me and go backinside.
I pressed the button rapidly to call the elevator as she appeared next to me. Tiffany leaned against the wall, blocking me from pressing the buttonanymore.
“Whathappened?”
“Doesn’t matter. Nothing.” Ishrugged.
“I didn’t know you had adad.”
I nodded and looked down. I guess that’s what he was; a dad. Though I had a feeling he was one of akind.
“We weren’tclose.”
She reached out and tried to pull me into a hug. I couldn’t do it. No more touching me. I didn’t budge, and shesighed.
“You can’t even let me hugyou.”
“You have a boyfriend. You shouldn’t touchme.”
“Ryan, it wasn’t going to work betweenus.”
“I know. But we can still be friends. I just needed your time for a little while tonight. The funeral wastoday.”
I took a deep breath. I knew I wasn’t good boyfriend material. I would never be good enough. She deserved better than me, and I knew it. What I needed now was just to sit with her for a while. I would be happy to be friends with her. I needed that. For the first time in my life, I had been angry and upset to the point where I needed someone to leanon.
“Ry, I’m so sorry. We’re getting ready to meet his parents fordinner—”
I quickly nodded and reached around her for the elevator buttonagain.
“It’s okay. I understand. Maybe we can catch up at the end of the week,” Isuggested.
“Can you wait one minute, Ryan?Please.”
I nodded and watched her go back into her apartment. Maybe she’s canceling dinner. I’d feel bad about that, but I needed her. I never thought I’d admit it, but I needed someone. A few minutes later she returned, carrying the heart that I gave her for her birthday. With tears in her eyes, she handed it tome.
“What?”
I was completelylost.
“I need to give this back to you. It’s not fair for me to keepit.”
“No, wait. It’s a friendship verse; the heart. It’s notlove.”
It had been love, but friendship too. But now I was on the brink of losing ourfriendship.
“Ryan, you’re a sweet guy. Give this to a girl who can love you back. I’msorry.”
