“We had the party to celebrate last night. We all were drinking and having a good time—we let security party with us.”
I nod. “You know better.”
“We do. But we were on cloud fucking nine, hitting number one, you know? We’ve worked so hard for that. Two albums and we made it. It’s a big deal,” he explains.
“I know, E. You don’t have to tell me what it means to you all. It means the world to me, too.”
“I know. It’s just that security got caught up like we did, meaning, we had none.”
“Just get it out. Please.”
“The chicks were all over all of us. Me, Kennedy, and Xan weren’t paying any attention. We were talking shit and doing shots. Someone had a camera. Took pics of the chicks in various states of undress—as you know.”
I nod. I do know. They’ve mentioned it and even videoed some of it. They thought it was funny. Me, not so much.
“Well, one was sitting on the arm of the couch, her arm around Xan’s shoulders, and she was—”
“She was fucking plastered against him,” Linc bites out.
“Okay. But that’s nothing new.”
“No, but the photos are. They’re everywhere. Of me, Xan, and Kennedy, with chicks hanging on us even though we didn’t know they were there. We’ve learned it’s easier to just let them try and ignore them rather than to say no, because then more come over and try—usually harder than the one before them.”
“Yeah,” I whisper, looking into the living room, getting my first glimpse of the tarted up, barely dressed chick hanging over my husband’s back, her head next to his, both laughing like they were meant to be doing that forever. Another photo with Kennedy glaring at the hand on his thigh, Ethan ignoring the one behind him. Xan doing shots with the guys. The girl leaning in and about to kiss Xander—if his head turned a little to the left. Oh. Well. There it is.
My stomach somersaults, my body shakes, my heart breaking as image after image float across the screen. I can’t breathe.
We made love. I gave myself to him, fully, finally, after the accident. Did he really need to go out and find someone to fuck? Surely, if Ethan could make it here, he could, too. But, he’s not here. He’s not here explaining.
“That’s a d-deal br-breaker,” I stutter out. Now, I really can’t breathe. I try, but there’s no air. I gasp, unable to turn away from the TV. It’s like I’m in an alternate universe—watching my husband on TV, in photos with that—tart.
“Breathe, Tera,” Dad orders sternly, pulling me from wherever I’d floated off to. He presses a paper bag over my mouth and nose. “Breathe. Look at me and breathe.”
I shake my head. I can’t pull any air in. I can’t feel my body.
“She’s in shock. Thump her on her back, Linc,” Dad tells him.
“No way—”
“Do it! Now!” Dad orders.
He does, pounds my back hard and I gasp, pulling in air—glorious air.
“Head down, between your legs,” Sandy demands.
I automatically listen—like always. Sandy and Dad know what’s best. I feel exactly as I did that day at the shack. I feel like that young girl who’s seen something she never ever wanted to see. Xander with someone else.
Only, this time, it feels like so much more than a betrayal. Not only because he broke our deal, but because of the time we spent together. Because of the things he said that night—things like he didn’t want anyone but me, he’d never need anyone but me.
A sob bursts free. This is the first time I’ve let myself cry since before the attack—I meanreallycry. The kind of cry you feel down to your soul because it hurts that much. This—this hurts that much.
Linc rubs my back while Ethan looks on helplessly. Sandy twists her hands while Dad keeps reminding me to breathe.
I breathe—between cries from a voice I don’t recognize—yet, it’s mine.
I meet Ethan’s gaze, then Dad’s.
“H-he l-lied.”
