“Jesse lives in fear of the, and I quote, She Devil.”
Now Joan laughs. “I love it. Karma at its finest.”
I nod.
“Now tell me what’s going on with Summer.”
I get up and begin to pace without realizing it. “I don’t know, really. She and Jace ran off and eloped—”
Joan gasps. “Mama Russo is going to be very unhappy.”
I look at Joan wide-eyed. “I don’t want to be anywhere around when they tell her.”
“I wouldn’t either.”
“They got back early this morning. Kadi said Summer wasn’t feeling well.” I look at the clock. “They should be seeing Dr. Mack right about now.”
“Likely she over did it. She’s in her third trimester so she’s going to tire out much faster, and she needs to follow doctor’s orders as far as restrictions.”
“She does. She’s good about it—like Tera. They’re both getting so big so fast. It’s really pretty awesome to see.”
“Miracles,” Joan offers.
“Yes. Miracles.” I stare off into the distance, thinking about family and future. “Is it selfish for two gay men to adopt or hire a surrogate? What will that child go through? Is it right for them to put their child through that when what they’re supposed to do is protect them and try to make the world a happy place for them?”
“Selfish?” Joan shrugs. “Maybe. But do you think you and Lincoln would be better parents to a child that’s say, born to a drug addicted mother who’s given the baby up for adoption? Do you think you could love a child like that? One that starts out in such poor circumstances.”
“Anyone who couldn’t is a prick.”
She nods. “Do you think a child you adopt and love completely, would think you’re selfish parents? Do you think that child would be selfish for wanting you as parents? I mean, you’d be the ones to offer more stability and love?”
“What the fuck? No. Any kid deserves the best of everything. They deserve stability and love. They don’t deserve a crackhead mom who…” I trail off as I look at Joan who has a smug look of satisfaction on her face, her legs crossed, her arms resting on the notepad on her lap.
Now she grins.
“I see what you did there.”
“Well, you were being obtuse. Weigh it out. Crackhead mother or loving gay parents. It’s a no-brainer, Ethan. Why do you always sell yourself short?” Joan questions.
I sigh and shrug. “I’m not—”
“—yes you are,” she interrupts. “You wonder why Lincoln loves you.”
“Every day,” I admit. “He could do better.”
“I don’t think he’d agree with you. You’re the best in his eyes. Just as he’s the best in yours.”
“I’ve always felt like this.”
“And that’s why you’re here. Why do you feel this way? Because your mom was addicted to drugs? Because of the sexual abuse you suffered? I, personally, believe you’re an amazing young man. You’re resilient and one of the most loving people I’ve ever met.”
“But…”
“But just as you wouldn’t want Linc to decide he’s not good enough for you, you don’t get to decide that for him. The heart is your guide just as it’s his.”
I let out a huff of frustration. “Why are you always right?”
She snickers at this. “I’m not always right.”
