Of course I remembered. Questioning the townspeople in Forstford, spending all my money on a foolish errand, sleeping under eaves and on Kit’s porch to stay out of the rain. And I remembered when that all changed.
“You said no,” I recounted aloud. “Until the tavern. When I was drunk. And I told you…”
Kit shook his head. “Penny, he’s trying to turn us against each other. We discussed this. I promised—” He stopped himself so abruptly I thought he’d choked.
“Empty words,” Merrick declared. “You said whatever it took to get him here. A simple task since he’s so clearly taken with you. I imagine he’d follow you anywhere for the mere hope of your attention.”
The two of them exchanged narrow looks. Kit ground his teeth, always thinking more than he said. But I wished this once he would speak sharply. Tell Merrick he was wrong. About everything.
Instead, he spoke through gritted teeth. “If you’re quite finished, we have yet to begin our work for the day, and I would like to avoid further interruptions.” He spun toward me and reached for my arm. “Come on, Penny.”
I jerked away, fully flushed and hurt more deeply than I would let myself feel. Not here. Not now.
“He may be finished, but I’m not,” I snarled, surging toward my brother again. “Since you were so ready to shut me up before, you didn’t hear what I chased you down to say. If you want to spread lies, invade my privacy, insult me, go ahead. Do your worst. You ran away from me, but I’m not running from you. You don’t scare me anymore.”
Despite my statement, tendrils of fear pulled on me as I turned and walked toward the city square. I didn’t wait for Kit to catch up, or for Merrick to shout reply, or for myheart to stop thundering until I’d made it all the way back to the smithy. Only there did my chest start heaving, supplying fresh air to replace the breath I’d held too long.
Kit was right behind me, windblown from his hurry. “Penny,” he said, shades of his earlier concern returning. “Penny, you know your brother is just trying to start trouble.”
I glanced across the shop’s interior, still in shambles after the rigorous search. They’d mentioned the cottage as well, and the thought of the mess left there spurred me into motion once more. I couldn’t face Kit right now, and I took the excuse to get out of there the moment the thought occurred to me.
“I’m going home to clean up. I’ll see you tonight.”
Again, I didn’t wait for him, and I didn’t look back to see if he showed even a shade of the pain I felt. Whether he did or didn’t, I couldn’t bear it either way.
37
Kit
After Penny stormed off and left me alone in the wreck of our shop, I couldn’t help but feel I’d grossly mishandled the entire affair. I wanted to follow him home and smooth over the damage Merrick had done, but the look on his face when he realized how greatly the farm had factored into my decision to help him was like a dagger to the gut. So, I leaned into my cowardice and stayed behind.
I didn’t care what Merrick said about me—my father had done nothing if not help me develop a thick skin when it came to verbal attacks—but the things he said about Penny were too much. The feeling of being so small and insignificant that someone could dismiss your entire existence as a mistake was one I knew well. Penny didn’t deserve to be made to feel that way.
But Merrick was dangerous. Not only did he have authority over both of us, he had the support of some portion of the Death Watch, which made him a formidable opponent. My friendship with Levitt could only protect us so far. While I was bitter at him for allowingthese searches, I had to acknowledge that the Right Hand was carefully picking his battles, and this was one he knew Merrick would lose. It would ultimately work in our favor.
Didn’t mean I couldn’t be angry about it.
I tucked Penny’s sketchbook into the pocket of my slacks and took in the disaster around me. Somewhere in the mess was my apron with the sheath for Penny’s knife hidden inside, though it was impossible to spot with the floor littered with charcoal, tools, and metal ingots.
I started the cleanup with Penny’s workstation. By some miracle, none of the overturned jars of dye had come open in the melee, and the belt he’d been putting the finishing touches on was no worse for wear.
It was beautiful work. Scrolled honeysuckle vines and fanning leaves cascaded down from the buckle end, terminating in a flurry of flowers placed carefully around the notch holes. He’d been waffling over the appropriate dye color for days, insistent that it had to be just right. The thought of him sitting there arguing with himself for an hour at a time sparked a smile before the memory of his wounded expression a few minutes before chased it away.
A low whistle from the doorway drew my attention. I swung around to find Reimond and Thoma standing inside, hand in hand as always. Silently, they surveyed the damage.
Jealousy surged through me at the sight. They were so easy and open with their attachment. I couldn’t help but be conscious of my every interaction with Penny for fear of someone like Harlan or Merrick figuring out that what I felt for him was more than mere obligation. With the possibility hanging over my head of them using my feelings for him as a weapon against me, I didn’t have the freedom to take his hand and walk through town the way I’d found myself wanting to lately.
Merrick was wrong when he said I didn’t fancy his brother. It hurt that Penny might think I didn’t care when all I wanted was to run my fingers through his hair, and hold him close, and kiss him until neither of us could breathe.
And Merrick might have ruined any chance I had of that.
“What happened here?” Thoma asked, breaking away from Reimond to gather the pairs of tongs scattered near the door.
I rolled my shoulders, letting my aggravation bleed through.
“The Shroud Warden believed I was forging and stockpiling weapons to stage a coup,” I said. “So, he brought some people and had a look around.”
Reimond followed Thoma into the space and stooped to shovel the spilled charcoal back into its barrel. “Why would he think that?”
