“What are you talking about?”Toby frowned, half-exasperated.“Paxon is going to tutor you.”
I raised an eyebrow.“I’m surprised you aren’t offering.We’re in the same class.”
He snorted.“I’m barely smart enough to understand what’s being taught, let alone teach someone else.If you want to get your grade up and catch up, I’m not the person for you.”Toby looked at Paxon, and I didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed.Paxon glanced his way briefly and then tried to shrink into his seat.
My chest tightened.“Don’t worry about it,” I said quickly.“I don’t want to force anyone into anything.”
“It’s not a problem.”The words cut clean through the noise, low and certain.It took me a beat too long to realize where they had come from.Paxon.
I blinked, caught off guard.I swear I was forgetting what his voice even sounded like with how rarely he used it around me anymore.
The table went quiet.And for the first time since I sat down, he finally raised his head and looked straight at me.
“Paxon—” I started, my voice softer than I intended.What did I even want to reply with?I wasn’t sure, I just knew I didn’t want to lose him again.
But my hesitation was enough.His gaze dropped and he was slipping away, going back to staring down at his tray.
“It’s okay,” I said, forcing lightness into my tone.
He met my eyes again.
“Really.”I tried to give him a smile.“You don’t have to.I don’t want to drag you into something you don’t want to do.I never wanted that.”
Saying that felt like I gutpunched myself.That was the whole problem here.He had felt pressure to date me like all his friends.And it was clear it wasn’t something he wanted to do, and now we were in this precarious situation.My words were more than just about tutoring.It was about us.
And from the way his jaw flexed and a muscle twitched in his cheek, he understood the underlying message.
“I said it’s not a problem.”His voice was firmer this time, sharper around the edges.
I straightened, heat creeping into my face.“I mean it.I’ll figure it out.There are plenty of other people—”
“No.”He finally focused a hundred percent on me.The force of his stormy grey gaze nearly pinned me to my seat.“There aren’t because I’ll do it.”
The air between us tightened.
I swallowed hard.“I don’t want to force you—”
“You’re not.”His tone cut me off clean.“I’ll do it.”
The table stayed silent, everyone holding their breath.Even Toby, who never knew when to keep his mouth shut, didn’t crack a joke.
My heart thudded unsteadily, too loud in my ears.The look in his eyes wasn’t soft, wasn’t gentle.It was heavy, determined, almost defiant.Like he was daring me to push him away again.
I tore my gaze back to my sandwich, the indent still pressed into the wheat where I’d stabbed it earlier.My voice was tiny as I said, “Okay.”
Inside, my chest ached with everything we weren’t saying.
