“Good.”Her tone softened just a little.“And Cadence?Whatever you’re carrying, you don’t have to carry it alone.You have people who care about you.Use them.And if not, the offer of our school counselor is still there.”
I forced a nod, my throat tight.“Yes, ma’am.”
She dismissed me with a wave of her hand, already reaching for the next folder.
I stood and slung my bag over my shoulder.My legs felt heavy as I left the office, the word tutor echoing in my head like a cruel joke.
The rest of the morning, I kept to myself, dread filling me the closer we got to lunch.I knew the guys wanted to ask me, but I managed to get away with a simple shake of my head.They left it, even if they gazed at me with a bunch of questions and concerns.Of course, they all knew I had been to the principal’s office.I was sure when I left the room, Bryan probably let them all know.That was something else I sometimes struggled with—how much they shared with each other.
Toby practically walked on my heels when it was finally time for lunch after music analysis class.I walked the hall slowly and he was kind enough to not say something for once.
By the time I reached the cafeteria, my stomach was a crazy knot of nerves.
Everyone was already at the table when Toby and I got there.Toby went over to Justin and sat down, already pulling Justin into some kind of debate.
I dropped into the empty seat a little too heavily.
They all looked up.I knew what they wanted to ask, I just didn’t want to be the one to start the conversation.My gaze slipped over to Paxon briefly before I looked down at my sad tray of food.I had been so distracted that autopilot in the lunch line had failed me.I had a sandwich and a drink, and that was it.
“You were gone for a while during first period,” Bryan finally said.He angled toward me, dark eyes sharp behind his glasses.He wasn’t going to let me get away with not talking about it.“What happened?How did it go?”
“Oh, yeah.Cadence got in trouble.”Toby dragged the word ‘trouble’ out, acting like it was new news that I had been summoned.He was trying to make it lighthearted, but it didn’t work.Not this time.
“Nothing bad,” I said quickly.“She’s just worried about me.”I poked at my sandwich and then stared at the indent I had made into the wheat bread.If only it could swallow me whole and save me from this conversation.
“Worried about what, exactly?”Justin asked, his gaze zeroing in on everything I wanted to hide.He saw through it all like he always did.“Do we need to talk with her?Let her know things have been crazy lately?”
I snorted.“When has it not been crazy?”Shaking my head, I shoved my tray a little farther away.“No.She just wanted to talk about my grades and warned me about my absences.”The words stuck in my throat as I lowered my voice, and doing my best to not look at Paxon, I added on, “Get a tutor.”
“A tutor?”Justin repeated.
“Wait?”Toby leaned forward like he’d just been given the best gossip.“Cadence Wiles, straight-A golden girl, needs a tutor?”
“Shut up,” Bryan snapped before I could answer.
Heat crept up my neck, burning under the collar of my sweater.I forced a shrug.“It’s not like I’m failing.I’ve just missed a lot.She said I can either get one assigned or find someone I trust.”
“Which class?”Justin asked.
“Physics.”
Toby made a fake sound like he was gagging.He was in physics too, but I knew he wasn’t doing the best either.He wouldn’t be able to tutor me.
“Who were you thinking of asking?”Justin asked.
His question hung heavy between us.Without me having to answer it, they knew the answer.
Paxon.
He hadn’t even said anything.Didn’t even look up from where he methodically pulled apart the crust of his sandwich.
Finally, Bryan broke the silence.“Well...it makes sense.He’s the best at physics.”
I glanced at Paxon.Just once.His jaw was tight, his expression unreadable, and he still didn’t look at me even though it was clear he was listening to us.
The pit in my stomach grew heavier.
“Forget it, I’ll find someone else,” I said, trying to shrug off how that kind of hurt.Were we really over and I was just too stupid to realize it?
