Since I couldn’t do that, I simply held him for as long as he wanted. My tingling legs were nothing compared to what Emery needed right now.
Never before had I wished to take someone’s pain, someone’s hurt. I never felt the need to do that. Emery was different. I knew he was that day I walked in here.
But I couldn’t get attached. I couldn’t allow myself to hope for anything more than what we had right here, right now.
I couldn’t go through the heartache that I’d already lived through once in my lifetime. Irefusedto let my life fall apart as it had seven years ago.
Once more, Emery shifted, this time pressing his face further into my neck. The soft strands of his brown hair tickled my chin in the process. It took all my willpower to not run my hands through it.
There had to be a limit somewhere. At least for me.
“Smells nice.” Emery muttered, his voice muffled.
My cough was more a laugh than clearing my throat. It was enough to make Emery groan, I’m assuming in embarrassment. A moment later, he sighed and lifted his head up to meet my eyes. Yet, he made no move to leave my lap.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to move, anyway. I kind of liked him here.
Something must have gone through his mind, as mere seconds later, he pushed off my lap. His green eyes showed confusion as my arms dropped, allowing him to leave.
Had he thought I’d force him to stay if he didn’t want to? Or was he expecting something else from me?
“Uh…bathroom.” The words were stuttered as he fully clambered off my lap. Then, faster than I’d seen him move before, Emery left the living room, seeming more stressed than before his unexpected nap.
Glancing at the clock across the room, I let my own sigh escape. It was later than I thought. I wasn’t in the mood to cook, but I would for Emery. Unless, maybe, he’d be okay with takeout.
Normally, I didn’t do a whole lot of fast food, preferring to lean on my meal prepping. I had more than enough frozen leftovers in my freezer to last weeks, if not longer.
I hadn’t moved much, other than to stretch my legs out just enough to stop the pins and needles, when Emery emerged from the bathroom. I turned, watching him debate with himself. His eyes flickered everywhere but at me.
“Hungry?” I broke the silence.
All I got was a shrug.
“Anything you’re wanting in particular?”
A shake of the head. Then, his feet shuffled towards the living room again, much slower than his departure just minutes ago.
“I’m going to run home real quick and grab some soup from my freezer.”
No reply this time.
By the time I got back, Emery hadn’t moved. Leaving him to his thoughts, I moved around the kitchen. Setting a pot on the stove, I let the bag of soup thaw out in cold water in the sink for a few minutes.
“You doing okay?”
A nod.
He didn’t seem to be, but I didn’t think much at this time would make anything better. Yet, I still had to ask. “Is there anything I can do, Emery?” I kept my expression open and voice soft. If he were to ask me just about anything, I’d do it.
“Gale says I need to be honest,” he said, looking anywhere but at me. His voice was quiet yet firm.
“Honesty is always good.”
“I’ve always been.” He swallowed, then sat his chin on top of his knees. His gaze was near me, but it was more like he was deciding what he wanted to say. Finally, his eyes met mine. “I don’t know what I want. To live. To die. To have—” He cut himself off. Then, he took a deep breath. “I don’t even know who I am. I’m… just…”
“You’re Emery. A survivor. A voice. You alone can have nearly everything you’d ever dream of.”
Emery
