Every day, it became harder to keep my distance. A week, and this boy had gotten under my skin. He made me want things I couldn’t have. Things I shouldn’t even want.
There were reasons I was on my own.
But for now, I’d sit here and hold him. I’d be here as long as he was, hoping my heart wouldn’t break when he left.
There was, after all, only so much any human could endure. Even for the strongest of souls.
Emery
Ihad no clue what possessed me to crawl into Ryker’s lap, but that’s where I found myself. I never wanted to move.
I almost wished he'd hold me tighter. I wanted to feel his arms holding me in place, keeping me safe and protected from the world.
If I couldn’t have the person I loved, then I’d take this. At least, for a few more minutes.
I had no desire to move, even though I probably should.
My head rested on his chest along his throat, where I could hear his strong heartbeat against my ear. Each lungful of air calmed me even further.
There had only been one person that could stop my panic in its tracks. Now, there was someone new. Someone who knew just how to let me be and work my way out.
Right this very second, I wanted to believe that Ryker wouldn’t want something in return for holding me. That would be something I’d worry about later, when I wasn’t currently curled up against a warm chest.
It had been weeks since I was last held—or touched kindly, for that matter. I wasn’t counting all the nurses and doctors who had to touch me to check my wellbeing.
I knew, in the long run, that this wasn’t going to last. Nor would it ever happen again. So, I was going to take whatever I could, for however long he allowed.
I didn’t want to remember the last time I was held. I didn’t want to start another round of tears, because that’s what would no doubt happen.
Couldn’t I just stay in the here and now? Did the past always have to sneak up on me?
I sniffed again, wiping away the tears on the left side of my face—not like that would do a whole lot of good, as the tears didn’t seem to want to stop.
“It’s okay, Emery,” Ryker whispered, his lips almost pressed to my head. “You aren’t alone anymore.”
He was wrong. I would forever be alone.
Since the night I had watched the blood drip from my fingers, my fate had been sealed. If I were to live, I’d be alone. And I would die alone.
There were a number of things I wanted to say, yet words were not my friend. Instead, I let my entire weight fall against Ryker, eyes shut as I just let myselfbe.
I must have fallen asleep, as I jerked upright as he moved underneath me.
“It’s okay,” he soothed, relaxing once again. One hand ran up and down my arm. Then, a moment later, the blanket he had gotten me was draped over the top of me. “All better. Relax. I’ve got you.”
Not having enough energy to do anything else, I leaned my head back against his shoulder, letting my eyes slide shut.
I’d happily stay here as long as he allowed me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel this content again.
Not when my days were numbered.
Ryker
My legs were nearly asleep, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Every little movement I made, Emery would jerk or stir. Even in my hold, the blanket wrapped around him, he was still on high alert.
He’d been through so much. I knew, without even needing to ask, that he hadn’t slept well for years.
Never had I wanted more to wrap someone up in a bubble and keep them safe. Not just safe from the outside world, but from the demons that wreaked havoc inside his mind.
