He smiles and drops his hand.
“I really want to let you sleep, but I also want to give you time to shower and get ready for the game. We have to stop at your house for your gear too.”
I realize I’m still in the clothes I’d flown in and immediately feel gross.
“Want to shower here or we can head to your place?” Ren asks.
It’s a toss up. I definitely want to get the feeling from traveling off of me. To wash away everything from yesterday. But if I shower here, that means I have to put on these same clothes again.
It’s that which wins out.
“Home,” I declare and glance at my shirt. “Dirty clothes.”
Ren nods. “Whenever you’re ready. No rush.”
I sit up and watch Ren leave the room. There should be more people in the world like Ren. Those who are willing to help, even when you come to them as an absolute train wreck. I don’t even dare look at myself in the mirror, afraid of what I’ll see.
Yet he doesn’t look at me with disgust. There’s only ever softness there. Concern.
After taking a piss, I find my way to the front door and look around for my shoes.
“You weren’t wearing any,” Ren tells me.
I flinch. Ugh. Fuck, I must truly have looked like a wreck!
“Sorry,” I say for maybe the dozenth time.
“Don’t be. I’m just glad you didn’t drive.”
I follow him out, and Ren opens the car door for me. The gesture makes me flush and I fold into his car. The trunk opens, and he tosses his bag in before climbing in behind the wheel.
“I was a mess, wasn’t I?” I ask.
Ren smiles. “You were not in a good place.”
“That’s a nice way of saying I had an excuse to look like shit.”
He chuckles.
His presence is quiet, and yet it fills the space. Like I can feel him surrounding me. It’s a comfort. As I glance at him, I wonder when this fond feeling started for him. He glances at me and smiles, making my stomach flutter.
Oh, no. It’s not just fondness.
I think I’m crushing on my teammate! That’s not at all cool.
Chewing the inside of my lip, I try to ignore the feeling. But now that I’ve acknowledged it, it’s waving all kinds of flags at me. I swear, there’s this obsessive blushing girl inside me giggling as she takes peeks at Ren from the corner of my eye.
This is going to be a long night.
I’m thankful for the short drive and invite Ren inside while I shower and get ready for the game. After grudgingly tossing my phone on the charger, I strip from my clothes on the way to the bathroom. While I don’t intend to take long, I spend some extra time scrubbing yesterday off me. Not just the travel, but the hours before that.
Many times, I’d tried the exercise of imagining that I’m washing my dad’s words down the drain. Watch them slip away where they can’t hurt me. But that mental exercise doesn’t work for me. It’s not even a short reprieve. I just feel foolish when I’m done.
When I’m out, I stand in my closet and stare at my collection of suits. What color is Ren wearing? Maybe I could wear something complimentary. Do I even know how to do that? It would make dressing easier if I could do that. But not only doI not remember what color Ren’s wearing, but I now just stare at my line of suits. Lost. Frozen. Have I always had so many to choose from? I think my collection keeps growing.
“Felton?”
I jolt out of my thoughts and turn to find Ren standing in the door of my bedroom.
