“Jeff and I dated inhigh school.”
“And okay, you’ve had years at school and what? No other willing girls tickled your fancy?” Lily replied.
Maya could feel the prick of anxiety creeping up her spine. She needed to regain control of the conversation. “Maybe she was waiting for us,” Maya said confidently.
Lily scoffed.
“What? Maybe I was! I don’t know Lily, I just know how I feel now and fuck you for trying to question it. That’s your shit.”
“It is,” Maya agreed. “What are you worried about? I’m pan, are you worried about me?”
“It’s different,” Lily mumbled.
“How? Because I’m a ‘baby bi’?” Hanna asked.
“Yes,” Lily said quickly.
“Oh fuck you,” Hanna said and she made to get up, but Maya placed her hands on her thighs.
“We are getting through this,” she said, “and once again, I feel like I am playing mediator, which believe it or not, sucks. Fuck Lily, what are you so worried about?”
Lily lowered her head and sighed. She then turned so her body was leaning against Hanna’s thighs and under the water she rested a hand on Maya’s hip. Maya leaned into the touch.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. I am afraid, I’m afraid that this is some kind of experiment and that we don’t know what we are doing. I looked it up too, you know, poly stuff. Triads almost never work.”
“Every triad isn’t us,” Maya said.
Lily chuckled sullenly. “Said every ambitious naive trio of lovers ever.”
“I want to be with both of you,” Hanna said, and Maya and Lily both looked up at her. Her face was serious, all hard lines. “I don’t care if it’s easy or hard or whatever. There’s a lot of hate in this world and it’d be nice to be in this with the both you, extra love and all. Maybe we are naive or too ambitious, or whatever. Besides, I feel, you both, you both feel like?—”
“Home,” Maya said.
“Home,” Lily agreed.
“I hate that you both are in Boston and I’m not,” Lily breathed out, “and I hate how that makes me sound needy.”
Maya squeezed her shoulder. “You’re not needy. I hate that you aren’t in Boston.”
“I hate that you aren’t in Boston too. I miss you like crazy Lil,” Hanna said.
“Really?” Lily asked, and she sounded genuinely surprised.
“Really,” both women agreed.
Hanna added, “It feels like a part of us is missing when you’re not around. But for the record, Maya and I don’t hang every weekend or whatever. Anytime we are together we’re hitting you up or talking about how we miss you too.”
Lily pushed up on her toes at the same time Hanna leaned down to kiss her. Progress.
“I think we have to accept we can’t be together physically all the time, but only till the end of this year,” Maya said, “which, it's not like we’re in our dorms twiddling our thumbs. We are all multi-hyphenated with plenty to keep us occupied.”
“Yeah, not long,” Lily repeated, looking at her and giving Maya a quick kiss on her lips.
Maya smiled at the idea of one more year.
“And shit, we are just going to have to figure this out. Like if two of us fight or break up or whatever, we have to talk about it,” Hanna said, like it was all simple. But maybe it was and wasn’t at the same time. They’d still need to figure it out either way.
They were quiet for a moment, but this time it was a comfortable silence. They were on the brink of something new, but the trepidation that hung around them was dissipating.
