Hanna looked at her first with mild betrayal but then seemed to register something on Maya’s face, and her expression softened.
“Look, let’s not fuck around Hanna, you know I’m bad at this stuff,” Lily chided.
“I’m sure that was not your first experience with a beautiful woman, Lily,” Hanna said sarcastically.
Maya wanted to throttle her. Hanna wasn’t typically this passive-aggressive. She was often way more direct. Maya was a bit floored and annoyed by this change in her typical behavior.
“No, it was not, but it was the first time I experienced you going off and drinking yourself into a stupor, only to end the night crying about it,” Lily said.
“I didn’t?—”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, Hanna!” Maya didn’t quite shout, but her voice left no room for games. “I cannot, I will not. You know what I went through last year—” She took a deep breath, thinking of all the brokered peace talks between her parents. “We are going to lay it all out on the table. Lily is trying, you try too.”
Maya watched Lily and Hanna turn and exchange a glance that looked like guilt. Yep, she was not above playing the “my parents had a messy divorce” card.
Hanna grew resolute. “Fine,” she started, “I didn’t like it–like, at all,” she let out another breath, “but what right do I even have to be pissed? It’s not like, it’s not like—” Her voice trailed off.
“We’re together,” Lily filled in.
“Yeah it’s not like we are together,” Hanna said, her voice steely.
“No, that’s not what I meant. I meant,we are together,” Lily said, and Hanna’s expression showed surprise at the admission.
Maya was shocked too. “We are?”
“I have this friend, she’s got waaaay more ‘fuckboy’ energy than you two accuse me of having. But she always says if you sleep with someone more than three times, you’re in something with them,” Lily said.
“Okay, then,” Maya said, a smile creeping across her face. It was part relief and part incredulity that Lily was facilitating this conversation. “So let’s talk about what we are, then,” she said.
There was silence between the three of them, the slight swish of pool water the only noise.
“I looked up polyamory,” Hanna finally said sheepishly.
“Of course you did Banana,” Lily replied, and Hanna seemed to relax at the sound of the nickname. Lily moved in the water so that she was now on the other side of Hanna’s legs.
“And what did you find?” Maya scooted even closer to Hanna, so she was cozily sandwiched between her and Lily.
“Really just some definitions and…warnings about, well about how triads are hard and often not advised. That they usually start with people who are naive and don’t know any better.” Hanna said that last bit with disdain.
“Wearenew. And naive. And I guess…well, are we poly?” Lily said, as if she were thinking out loud.
“Well, are we a thing? That’s where we need to start.”
Maya had been about to ask the question, but Hanna, surprisingly, had beaten her to it. Maya beamed, proud to see her Banana back.
“We are a thing, we’ve established that,” Maya said. “We just need to understand what this thing is. What does everyone want?” After a lack of immediate response, Maya said, “Ok, I’ll go first. I like the energy between us, but the dynamic of me having to resolve things or fix things is exhausting for me. We are all adults.”
“You don’t have to—” Lily began.
Maya cut her off. “And if I don’t, then we just have this awkward thing that grows between us. And I just want us to be chill and together.”
“I want that too,” Hanna said quietly.
“Okay, me too,” said Lily. “Fine. It’s just, how? I mean fuck, Hanna, you’d never even kissed a girl until last fall. How do you?—”
“Oh my god, you’re not going to make me have the bi-validity and bi-erasure conversation Lily, are you? I’ve had this conversation with people before and it sucks.”
“Okay but you and Jeff—” Lily started, and Maya knew that was going to trigger the shrill growl that came out of Hanna.
