Page 27

I search my brain while I clutch my stomach. Things come to me. Dancing, drinking. I scream for Tabi and sit up. Sitting across from me is my penance for trying to forget him. The months full of a haze of drugs, alcohol, and being anonymous offer a cruel karma right now. I’m not meant to be the bad girl, just the sad one. My pain is here, facing me, taunting me. I turn away from the ghost, my mouth open in horror and my eyes filled with terror and pain.

His deep voice bubbles up from my psyche. “Hiya, Gingersnap.”

There’s a long pause as I try to get my bearings.

“Don’t worry, the loudmouth Greek is fine and on her way back to Sonoma. She’ll wake up thrilled. And I’m hoping you will too. Poppy?”

And then it’s all gone. My name in perfect deep tones. All rational reason and thought. My adrenaline spiking and clearing away any remnants of cobwebs brought on by vodka and weed. My eyes and body wide with panic and unprecedented excitement. I shake my head and tears stream down my face at the cruelty of what my brain is doing. I hold my ears and close my eyes tight. “No. No. Please make it stop. Fuck. Now my fucking brain is creating wicked visions. How the hell do you heal?” I wrap my arms around my knees and rock a little bit as the tears flow.

And the voice comes again, “None of that now. Shh, shh, baby. None of that. We don’t have time for that anymore. Can I hold you? Il Mio Fiore.”

My fear, the blood rushing, flickering with recognition, all pop my eyes wide open. “WHAT? How? You can’t be. I’ve snapped. They were all right. I guess it was only a matter of time before I broke with reality. Someone has to help me.” I leap up onto my knees. Then I’m kneeling on what looks like a dentist’s chair and his face breaks into a grin big enough to see from space. His dark eyes sparkling at me.

“You’re fine. You could tamp down the melodrama but come feel me. I’m here. I promise you I’m here.” His fingers crook as he says, “Vieni qui, Fiore.” I leap from the chair, not really knowing if I’m going to end up flat on my face, on the tiled floor or in his arms. But either will knock me out of this state of hysteria. The split second in the air and then I’m wrapped in his scent. I feel his warmth as his large arms catch me and my body slams against his.

Tears streak my face and soak his shoulder as my body is wracked with sobs. I mutter repeatedly, “Baby. Baby. Real? You’re here?”

“I am. As sure as you are.”

“My Skylark. Mine. I’m dead. I’m dead, right? I don’t even care that I’m dead because I found you. That’s what’s happened? How are you real? My heart. My life. How are you here? Sei vivo.” Hands snake around my middle, clutching me to him as he tries to stop my shaking.

And then he laughs in that deep dark roiling full body laugh that fills any room. “I am here. You’re alive. I’m alive. Nobody’s fucking dead. Let me just hold you. Stop your squirming. I missed you.”

“Seriously?” I paw at the tentacles around me and yank a fistful of black arm hair. “Ouch. Fuck. Pop. Listen to my heartbeat. That’s a better way to check, don’t you think?”

I move up and I hear it. I hear his heartbeat.

“What the fuck? Sal! You’re not dead! Why? How?” I sit up. I’m electricity and frayed nerves. That’s all I am right now. There are no thoughts, only emotions racing and drowning me.

“I’m sorry, I died. I had to. I thought you might handle it better. I didn’t think you’d lose your damn mind, woman.”

“Why not? Wouldn’t you? Or do you not love me as much? What is even happening?” I straddle him in an instant and hit his chest and then clutch him, holding him so tight to make sure he didn’t go away. I wrap my legs around him and kiss his neck. Then his lips are on mine and it’s as if watching a glass shatter in reverse. Every sliver sings as it finds its rightful place and for the first time in six months, I’m complete.

And now I’m pissed.

PART THREE

Parte Terza

Chapter

Twenty-One

Sal

“You drugged me!”

“To be fair, mine counteracted theirs. I wasn’t the first to drug you. And I took you so they couldn’t. Apologies.”

My spitfire flies at me with those little adorable fucking fists of hers flying. I’ll take it all. Christ, I’ve missed this little piece of fucking heaven on earth. My body, mind and soul are filled with a kind of joy I only allowed myself when my arms were wrapped around her. She keeps smashing her fists into me, but I put my lips on hers. Tears streaming down her face, which has way too much fucking makeup on it. What the hell are the shiny spiders on my girl’s face? She kisses me and keeps yelling at me.

“How could you do this to me? How! Sal. You’re an asshole. A jerk.” Each word punctuated with a slap to my torso or a punch in the arm that could never bruise as much as this past six months. I’ve been through some shit but this, no pain, will ever top this.

Her voice has an edge to it as she lets out her bite. I don’t blame her. I deserve it all. She pulls away and raises an eyebrow. “How. Why? What? Who did this? Can I kill them? Who made you break me in half?”

I hand her some water and she sips greedily. Then I wrap my arms around the one place in this goddamn world they belong and haul her closer to me. “I might have come back from the dead, but that breath of yours might put me right back in the grave.”

She reaches into the pocket of her pants and shoves a piece of gum in her mouth as she over-exaggerates her chewing. Then she spits the gum out.