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“Better?!” She breathes on me and I laugh.

“Turn around. You’re in a dentist’s office. Take care of that so I can take care of you.” She pinches my nipple.

I yelp a bit, “Hey.”

“Don’t you disappear or even move.” Her voice is deep and exacting.

I kiss her forehead. “I promise.” She brushes her teeth as I talk to her.

“You’re all questions, Gingersnap. I get that. You’re sixes and sevens. How do I get you straight like an eight?” She spits and rinses. Stepping close to me again, she pops a defiant hip and I yank her to me.

“I’m waiting for all the answers.”

“Oh, I got them but first we do this.” I take her lips as fast as she’ll let me. I taste her tears and I swear I’ll never stop trying to heal the pain I’ve inflicted. I’ll try to undo it. It had to happen this way. She was safe, and then something shifted. Enzo, the moron, started looking in places he shouldn’t.

She yields instantly and both our bodies remember this is forever. Not even a couple of months of death can stop us from tearing each other apart in minutes. Her tongue peeks out, swiping my lips, and I suck it into my mouth. Her soft little moan, that keeps me up at night trying to remember the exact freaking pitch. I’ll never stop making it up to her.

She punctuates our kiss by hitting me again and trying to wiggle away, but I take her face in my hands.

“Not happening. Never letting you go again. Hardest thing I’ve ever done was disappearing.”

She gets uppity, and it’s the voice I fucking dream about. “I’ve heard that before.” She tries to pull away, and I lift my eyebrow.

“Don’t even think of retreating on me.”

“Sal, my Salvatore. My husband. Wait, are we still married?” Her hand rests on my cheek. And then she lightly slaps me.

“I’m still dead to everyone else, sweetheart.”

There’s a loud banging on the door and I know our time with this moment is through. She jumps into my arms. “It’s ok, there’s a lot. Come.”

Lou opens the door, and she screams and leaps from my lap. I assume to try to beat him, too.

“Ask him what a morose motherfucker I was.”

“You dirty, stupid ape. You’re an asshole.” She punches him and he just takes it, then his eyes drift over her head and nods at me. Then he hauls her into a hug, lifting her off her feet for a massive brotherly hug. I’ll allow it.

I know we have to go. My heart breaks. There’s going to be a before and after for her like the last time I broke her apart. It’s a deeper slide into my world this time, but I won’t make us suffer another second apart. Dark shit for the last four months. I know she went crazy, but I was almost comatose. My stomach is in knots as Lou hugs my girl. There’s no more goddamned shield. I’ll never, ever forgive myself for this shit. The reality is now and the last of the curtain gets pulled back. I swear to Christ and my mama if only one person comes out on the other side of this shit storm, it will be her. It killed me to see her throw away the life I tried to give her. I thought she’d be safe and secure with me gone. One of us could find a good existence. I didn’t know she’d lose her shit. And then her safety thing became an issue.

She steps back from Lou and there’s all this black shit down her face. I walk over and pull a handkerchief and wipe under her eyes.

“I’ve been a bit selfish, but you were reckless.” I scold her. I’m not the only one that fucked up my death.

“I was heartbroken and devastated.” Her voice wavering and laced with fury. I smile and push up the sleeves of my black t-shirt. Damn, I miss suits. I kiss her quickly.

“You reckless, foolish, perfect fucking woman.” When I left her, it was like having an open wound with a daily dose of salt. What killed me further was when we couldn’t find her. When no one could find her. I put pieces in place to keep her dumb ass safe, then her family smothered her and she ran.

She takes that cute little power stance. I’m in it now. She wants to dress me down like she did when I broke up with her. This was different. Maybe it wasn’t. I thought I found a more efficient way of breaking up with her. Which also didn’t work, I might add. “By the way, no more cigarettes.” Her eyebrows raise.

Her voice is a low growl, and it’s sexy but a little scary. “That’s what you’re concerned with. I tried a cigarette once. For the first time. Not that I liked it but, wait! How did you know that? Pretending you were dead was a punk move. That was a capo bitch ass move. You’re not a martyr making sure my life is safe and happy. You’re a coward.” She points at my chest and pokes me for emphasis. The only thing that hurts is the pain in her voice. “Stay alive. Stay alive with me or we die together—capiche?” I chuckle softly. But she continues in the same furious tone. “I’m only afraid of one thing in life.”

“What’s that, Gingersnap?”

“Walking this earth without you. I’ve done it. 0 out of 10. Do not recommend.” She yanks me toward her by my shirt and I go willingly. “Get that happy smirk off your face, Mister.” I can’t. I’m so fucking happy to see her face and touch her luminous skin. “You go where I go. And I go where you go. No more thinking, you know better bullshit. My life. My choice. That’s who and what we are.” She nods sharply at me and my smile gets bigger.

Then, in the same sassy tone, she says, “Now, who do we need to rub out?” Lou and I bust out laughing.

“Rub out?”