Page 40

Actually, I don’t want to know. It’s absolutely not my business. “Did Bailey ever tell you about Theo?” I ask, changing the subject.

Jake found Bailey when he was eighteen. He’d been trying to jump a train in London after running away from his family. Jake paid for his ticket, and gave him a job and home with us. I know a little about his childhood: alcoholic, good-for-nothing mother who refused to raise him, and a sick-fuck stepdad who would touch him when she passed out. Not once did he mention an ex-boyfriend.

“No.” Jake frowns. “No, he didn’t. You know he doesn’t like talking about his past. Maybe it hurt too much.”

“Yeah … I guess.” I’ve never let myself fall in love, so I wouldn’t know about that. Can’t get hurt if you don’t let yourself care.

“Are you going to stay at Robbie’s for the rest of the week?”

“Do I have a choice?” I scoff.

“We can do something tomorrow if you want. Everyone will be going back to work, so it’ll just be me, you, Bay, and Rich.”

“What about Dad?”

A crease forms between Jake’s brows. “He left this morning … did he not say anything?”

My throat’s too tight as I try to swallow. Of course he left without saying anything. “No, he didn’t.”

Jake sighs and picks up his keys from the table. “You two need to talk.”

“I don’t need to do anything.”

“Of course you don’t. You’re a grown man, and no one can tell you what to do,” he says mockingly as he stands up. “Bye, Noah.”

I watch him leave, then pull out my phone and block my dad’s number. Now it’s my choice not to talk to him, not his.

Just as I’m about to put the phone back in my pocket, a message from Robbie pops up. It says he’s sorry and that we should talk.

You two need to talk.

We should talk.

Why the hell does everyone want me to talk when I have nothing to say?

ROBBIE - FOURTEEN YEARS OLD

“Your ma would be proud of you, Rob.”

I look down at my breakfast, avoiding Da’s eyes. “It’s not that big a deal.” I shrug.

“Don’t do that. Robbie, look at me.”

I reluctantly drag my eyes up. His intense blue gaze stares back at me.

“You wanted to do the Duke of Edinburgh Award. You signed up at school. You got yourself organised, and tomorrow is your first day volunteering to clean up Talisker Bay. Don’t tell me that’s not a big deal. She’d be proud of you, and so am I.”

My cheeks heat at the praise, but I force myself to nod and mutter, “Thank you.”

Barely a day has gone by in the past seven years that Da hasn’t brought Ma up at the dining table. Whether it’s breakfast or tea, it doesn’t matter—he’ll find some way to work her into conversation. It was hard at first. Really hard. But over the years, it’s settled something inside me. Like she’s still here, still a part of our small family.

I don’t say it out loud, but I think she’d be proud too.

The day goes by quickly, each period getting me closer to the weekend. I can’t wait to be free of this uniform. I shouldn’t be so excited about picking up rubbish on a beach, but Isla will be there with me, so I’m sure we can make it fun. She’s horrifically competitive—all I need to do is tell her I can collect more than her, and she’ll make the day more interesting. It’ll fly by.

Anything’s better than sitting through an hour of maths. I screw my nose up as the teacher explains quadratic equations. Beside me, Isla’s busy writing everything down in her jotter. I glance over, copying her work. She tuts but still moves her arm out of the way so I can get a better view. And that’s why she’s my best friend.

Finally, the teacher sets us homework and dismisses us a few minutes early. Isla and I walk to the gates to wait for Theo. He’s twelve and only little, so he’s hard to spot in the crowd of students.