Page 134

So when Logan texted, I told him to meet me at Ball Breakers. Pauline had insisted I take a couple of days off to straighten out my personal life—which was probably a prelude to firing me—and Matteo was sure to dump me from the Redemption Road program if that happened. So why not torpedo what was left?

Trevor, my former best friend and crush, had come with Logan. I hadn’t expected that, but it was fitting. He was taking a rare night away from his wife and kid. His life had taken off while mine stalled out that night nearly six years ago. He’d forgone college, gotten married, and started working as a groundskeeper at the college instead.

He was still handsome and charming. That hadn’t changed. But when I looked at him, I didn’t want to get closer. Didn’t want to kiss him. All I could think was, I ruined everything because of this guy? What the hell had been wrong with me? Maybe I’d just never known what a real connection was before—or maybe our connection had broken that night and would never be the same.

I’d always blamed him, just a little, for what I’d done. The fact that he didn’t love me the way I’d loved him. But that was the child in me, the bratty teen who thought he should get everything he wanted.

I knew better now.

Logan leaned over to line up a shot on the pool table. His posture was all wrong, the stick awkward in his hands. It jerked forward, hitting the edge of the white ball, and sent it careening straight into a pocket, missing all the purple stripes he’d hoped to hit.

“Damn it!”

Trevor snorted. “You’re fucking terrible at this, man.”

Logan tossed his stick on the table in disgust. “I know, man. Pool isn’t my really my game.” He glanced around, nose wrinkling a bit. “Old biker babes aren’t really my scene, either.”

Trevor smirked. “Like The Fieldhouse is so much better?”

“Well, let’s hit Omaha, then!” Logan said. “This town is boring as fuck. We can take Joey to one of those gay bars and watch him get shot down.”

He laughed as if he’d made a hilarious joke.

“What makes you think I get shot down?” I returned.

Trevor chuckled and threw an arm over my shoulders. “See? My boy’s got game. You wouldn’t understand.”

Logan glared, annoyed his shit talk didn’t get him the reaction he’d hoped.

“Whatever. Let’s go out and party!”

“On a Monday night?” I said skeptically.

“Not everyone is old and worn out like this crowd,” Trevor said with a grin. “There’s always someone up for a good time.”

“How would you know?” I asked. “You’re married with a kid.”

“So?” he said. “I gotta live a little now and then.”

Logan laughed. “Damn right you do. Joey, what do you say, man? Let’s get out of this depressing hole in the wall.”

I hesitated. I’d invited the guys here because I was meeting up with the Redemption Road crew later, anyway. Figured I’d just get an early start. I’d wanted a distraction to get out of my head.

But going out and getting trashed? Hooking up with strangers? Going to the place where I’d met Kit?

My stomach turned over uneasily.

“I haven’t finished my beer,” I said.

“So finish it already!” Logan said. “I’m gonna go warm up the car.”

He walked out. Trevor looked over at me, raising his eyebrows. “You don’t want to go, do you?”

I shrugged. “Not really in the mood to troll for hookups.”

His lips quirked. “Yeah, but you’re gay. You probably get more ass than both of us combined.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, yeah. It’s so much easier to be gay. That’s why I spent all of high school trying to convince myself I wasn’t.”