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I need to do something.

I need to fix this.

But there is nothing.

Nothing I can do to solve this.

No threat for me to take on.

I thought I’d felt useless before in my life but all of it pales in comparison to this sinking feeling in my gut right now.

My eyes burn as I lean forward and gently pick up her hand, cradling it between both of mine. With my elbows propped up on the bed, I press my forehead to our hands and suck in a stuttered breath.

“You gotta come back to me, baby,” I whisper, my hands and my voice shaking. My stomach twists as the other possibility, the possibility that she might not come back to me floods my mind.

I shake my head.

No.

That can’t happen.

I won’t fucking survive it.

“Please, Lennon.” My voice breaks and I pull my head back to look up at her face as I press my lips to our combined hands. “I need you, sweetheart. You don’t get to leave me like this.”

She doesn’t even twitch in response to my voice.

Pain lances through my chest.

The steady beeping on the monitor is the only proof I have that she is still here with me because everything else, her warmth, her laugh, her gorgeous fucking eyes, all of it has been stolen from me.

“Just open your eyes, Len.” I beg, staring at her like I will her to do as I say from the sheer force of my plea. “Let me see those beautiful eyes, baby.”

My voice cracks again and a tear drops down my cheek.

“I fucking need you.”

I remember the first time I saw her in the bakery. The way she caught my attention in a single moment. I remember the first time I actually spoke to her. The sparkle in those incredible eyes and she flirted and challenged me. And our first date.

Fuck.

She just made every damn thing feel so fucking easy.

There is not a single thing in my life that has even been easy but being with her is. As easy as breathing.

“I can’t lose you, sweetheart. I won’t survive it,” I tell her, dropping my forehead to our hands again as a couple more tears fall.

What if I never get to see those eyes again?

Never get to experience the light in her gaze when she’s about to call me on my shit?

My chest is on fucking fire as I draw in a ragged breath.

Shit.

I never told her that I love her.

Last night didn’t feel like the right time with everything else going on and I thought I’d wait for the perfect moment.