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“Sorry. I just had to meet the girls for breakfast.”
He nods, almost to himself as he looks down into his cup of coffee like it holds all the answers. “And you couldn’t leave a note or shoot me a text?”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and his face falls.
“Why do I get the feeling you’re apologizing for more than just leaving this morning?”
I hate this, and I wish I could wipe that look off his face. If there weren’t anything in our way, I would march over to him right now and kiss him, let him know that I feel all the same things that he’s feeling but I just can’t do that to him. Tears gather in my eyes, and I want to scream as loud as I can, just to let loose some of this anger I feel toward everything right now. Everything I’ve wanted for most of my life might be sitting right in front of me and I can’t have it.
When he sees the pain in my eyes, he sets his cup of coffee down and stands. I panic for a second, thinking that he’s going to leave but instead, he grabs my office chair and rolls it to me before sitting down directly in front of me. He grabs my hands in his and brings them to his lips, pressing a kiss to them. “Why, baby? Why are you apologizing for last night?”
The tears begin to fall, and I reach out, palming his handsome face. “Last night was the most amazing night of my life, and I wish that I could give you more but I can’t.”
“Why the hell not? That doesn’t make any sense, Addy.”
I nod. “I know you don’t understand, and you’ll never know how sorry I am but I hope that you can forgive me because it would kill me to lose you.”
He yanks my hand from his face, and my tears start falling harder. For a few seconds, he just stares at me, bewildered, but then he pulls me into his lap, and I go willingly, craving his touch. He tucks my head into his neck and crushes me to him. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you could have it all?”
“No, I can’t. There are things you don’t know, Trey.”
“I don’t care about your past,” he says, shaking his head.
“It’s not my past you need to worry about. It’s my future,” I whisper. It’s more than I’ve ever said out loud to anyone about everything that’s going on in my life, and my breath sticks in my throat as I wait for his reaction. He pushes me away from him so he can look in my eyes.
“What the hell are you talking about? Are you okay?”
I can practically see his mind working as he tries to decipher my words, and I know I need to get a handle on this so I push away from him, climbing out of his lap, and walking to the other side of the room.
“I’m sorry. No matter how amazing last night was, it was a mistake, and I hope that we can move past this. You’re my best friend, and I can’t lose that, can’t lose you.”
“Addilyn…” he starts, trying to cross the room to me but I hold my hand up to stop him, and he sighs. “So that’s it then?”
“Please, Trey. I need you but I can’t be anything more than your friend.”
He studies me for a few moments before letting out another sigh and nodding. “All right, Addy. If this is really what you want, I’ll give it to you. Can I at least get a hug?” he asks, moving toward me again, and I back up until my back hits the wall.
“No. No hugging, or cuddling, or just touching in general,” I spit out, knowing that my self-control is hanging on by a thread, and the smirk that curves his mouth makes me more than a little nervous.
* * * *
After pulling up to the restaurant, I notice I’m a little early so I lean back in my seat and grab my phone. My heart jumps at the text from Trey but I force it back down.
Trey:
Hey, what are you up to tonight?
Me:
Going on a date
I sigh and close my eyes. When I told him that we needed to be friends, I really underestimated how hard that would be after our night together. It’s like he burrowed inside my heart, and no matter what I do, I can’t shake him. This morning when I woke up and could still smell him on my sheets, I considered just taking a break from him but that didn’t work out so well last time. My phone chimes, and I peel open my eyes to read his text.
Trey:
Yeah? Is it any good?
Me:
