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‘What do you mean why⁠—?’

‘Oh,’ she says pityingly. ‘Are you worried he turned up and saw you and left?’

‘What? No.’ I peek at her through one cracked eyelid. ‘Well, maybe now.’

‘Happens to the best of us. Never to me, but to some really great people, it happens. I’m sure.’

‘I don’t – I would’ve seen him, I was right by the door.’ Would I have seen him? Shit, did he see me and leave?

‘Hmm, maybe check your messages then? Maybe he messaged you, and you just didn’t get it?’

I frown, pulling up the app. I scroll to find his profile. ‘I checked though, just before I⁠—’

Oh. My. Stars.

Chapter Eleven

‘You prick!’

‘Hello, pest.’ His reading glasses slide down the bridge of his nose as he regards me over the edge of his paper. ‘To what do I owe the displeasure?’

‘You bastard!’

‘Pick an insult and stick to it, Miller. You’re not witty enough to keep coming up with new ones.’

‘It was you!’ I point. He eyes my finger with mild disgust before reverting his attention back to his paper.

‘You’ll have to be more specific. I’m a productive man, I do lots of things.’

‘You’re the reason all my dates have gone to shit, you hacked my phone!’

‘Well, Miller, one of us had to have standards, and it was becoming painfully obvious it wasn’t going to be you.’ Oof. ‘And I’d hardly call it hacking,’ he adds. ‘Hacking would be what you’ve done to your hair.’

I gasp and clutch my chest. That is too far! Lav said the haircut looked passable and that’s practically, almost, not really, but is a little bit of a compliment!

Shit. We’re getting off track.

‘Stars, this probably isn’t even the first time, is it? Are you why Jerry didn’t turn up? Are you why Adam’s gay?’

‘You’d have to ask Adam why he’s gay. And I practically did you a favour with Jerry. What self-respecting man drives a swift?’

‘You don’t even have a car!’

He guffaws. ‘If I did it, wouldn’t be a swift.’

I pinch the bridge of my nose. ‘What you said to him was abuse.’

‘I merely commented on the status of his head.’

‘It was a mite more than that!’

‘And this is upsetting because…?’

‘He has alopecia! And he was a very kind man. A very nice man, that I would have liked the opportunity to get to know, but now I can’t because you said, and I QUOTE: “I would rather drink my own boiled piss than take a joy ride with you in your decrepit shitbox of a car, you bald-headed-fuck.” As you can imagine, Jerry didn’t really want to see me tonight after that comment was made, and as a result I WAS STOOD UP!’

‘I’m so sorry for your loss.’ His hands ball into fists and he frowns. ‘Shall we hold a vigil tonight for Miller’s failed love life? I’ll contact the press,’ he says with such sincerity I almost believe it, until he drops the act and rolls his eyes.

‘You! You!’ I point.