Page 35

‘Mils, you’re my⁠—’

‘Oh look! This place looks perfect!’ I say, pointing down to my screen.

Lavender squints. ‘Is that an immortal supremacy flag in the background?’

‘Says here, humans welcome. Oh, and he’s a budding jerkist!’ I say lightly.

Scanning the screen, Lavender’s lip curls as she takes in the same scene I do. A room with crimson red walls and jarring bluelight, flesh hanging from string lining the ceiling. ‘Miller. He will kill you. I’m almost certain that jerky is human.’

‘Nonsense! Borridge looks like a lovely troll. Very… creative with his jerky hanging.’ I try not to visibly repel at the sight of the jerky hung across the lounge room in the picture. ‘We’ll click.’ I shrug.

‘I think maybe just hold off for a bit on that one.’

‘I’d need to save for a bond first, anyway. So no point applying now.’

‘Well, anyway, how was your day?’

‘Horrific.’

‘That’s rough. What about the other one, did you hear back from him? Uh, what was his name? Arin?’ Lavender says his name like she’s offering me a glass of Keninburgh’s finest red.

‘Adam.’

She clicks her spindly digits. ‘Adam! Adam sounded promising!’

‘He was wonderful,’ I say around a mouthful of hot chocolate. Not my favourite.

‘Really? Oh, do tell!’

‘He was very nice. Very kind.’

‘Hot?’ she lists.

‘Yep.’

‘Polite?’ she asks – only because it’s important to me. I once saw a troll she was seeing spit near her roots and Lavender barely bat an eye.

‘Yep.’

‘Gentleman?’ Another of my requisites.

‘Mmhmm.’ Another mouthful of spiked hot chocolate, and the drink is gone. I collapse back into the soft grass and look up at her. ‘He was also very gay.’

‘What?’ she asks, staring at my chin. I wipe it on the back of my hand. Nothing.

‘Yes, very gay. Very not interested sexually and / or romantically in me at all,’ I list.

‘Damnit. All the good ones are gay. Wait, how did you match with him then?’ She’s still staring at the bottom half of my face.

‘No idea. Must have been some weird glitch on Door. Is there something on my chin?’

She looks at me like she has no idea what I’m talking about. Maybe she doesn’t.

‘That sucks.’ She sighs and begins braiding some vines through her hair. ‘What happened this time?’

‘He didn’t show.’ I close my eyes at the words as if they could hurt me less if I didn’t see her reaction to them.

‘What? Why?’