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I run my hands through my hair, letting out a long sigh. I’m getting more used to the dreams, but they’re getting foggier now that I’m not spending time with Nix.

Just thinking about Nix leaves my chest aching. They left a couple days ago, heading to their next meet and greet. Never in my life have I felt this way.

I’ve always prided myself in how independent I am. Sure, Hazel is the exception to the rule. If I could hang out with my daughter all the time, I probably would, but otherwise, I’m very happy being alone. I’ve never felt like I needed another person around. I’ve never longed to spend time with anyone else.

But now I crave. It’s been a few days and I miss Nix and Kassian. I miss watching them interact. I miss talking to them. I miss our spur of the moment plans. I miss their soft smiles and loud laughter and rambunctious antics.

Having them around made my house feel so full. Things felt so much more full of life. Even my normal routine felt more alive.

Letting out a deep sigh, I get out of bed and start my day. After showering and getting dressed, I grab myself a cup of coffee. I sit outside, enjoying it as the sun slowly rises. There’s dew on the grass, not quite chilly enough for it to frost over quite yet. The sky is painted with gorgeous shades of pink and purple, rays of orange interspersed. Despite the color, a part of me can’t help but feel gray. I think that feeling is from missing Nix and Kassian.

Despite all of the confusing feelings swirling around inside of me, I find myself smiling. This moment weirdly feels like the calm before the storm. There’s something brewing, something big, and for just a second, I can sit still and enjoy this.

I’m not opposed to change. Sure, it’s terrifying but that doesn’t mean it should be something to shy away from. Change can be a good thing, it can bring some of the best things in life.

I have no idea what sort of changes are coming, only that they are. I can’t stop thinking about that plane ticket I saw in my dream. What the hell did that mean? Am I really going somewhere? Am I chasing after Nix and Kassian? That would be weird, right?

I tip my cup back, drinking the last of my coffee before standing up. I pack my bag for the day before heading out to my car and driving to work. Everything about today is familiar, the same routine I always go through. At the same time, there’s something in the air. My skin prickles with anticipation, like something big is going to happen, like maybe I saw it in my dreams last night but my brain hasn’t quite caught up yet.

My walk from my car into the library is short. I smell coffee and fresh bread from the cafe nearby and I think about Kassian and Nix. They enjoyed having lunch there. They would bring me coffee sometimes if they were in the area.

I miss them.

Once inside, my steps falter. I find a banner across the front of my desk that says happy retirement. To the best of my knowledge, no one is retiring. What the heck is going on? Why is that there? This is the same banner I saw in my dream last night.

I go to the employee only area, setting down my bag and hanging up my coat. Then I walk back through the library, finding my boss, Richard, waiting for me. He’s an older man wearing a blue shirt under a black suit. He adjusts his glasses when he sees me, giving me a small smile.

“Good morning, Dean.”

“Good morning, sir,” I say, nodding at the banner. “Care to explain who’s retiring?”

Richard leans his hips against my desk, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wish there was an easier way to talk about this, but I’ll do my best to simply be straight with you, Dean. You’ve been here a long time, you understand how things go.”

“Okay,” I say slowly.

“With the budget cuts, your job has become redundant. Michelle was the last one hired, meaning she’s getting paid the least. You’ve been here long enough that you can comfortably retire. You’ll have your pension and benefits won’t stop until the end of the year. This is a great way to send you off.”

Instead of responding, I go around to my desk, pull out the chair, and heavily sit down. I cover my face with my hands, breathing in slowly.

That feeling that’s been trailing behind me all morning crashes over me all at once. Apparently the big change happening is here and despite feeling like I was ready, maybe I wasn’t. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

With a deep breath, I place my hands in my lap. I look up at my boss and nod. “Okay.”

Richard gives me a big smile. “Take the morning to clean up your things. We’ll have a big lunch in your honor.”

“Right,” I say, still trying to process everything. “Right, okay. Thank you, Richard.”

Richard pats me on the shoulder. “You’ve done great things here. I’m really happy you can leave on such a high note, Dean. Thank you for all the years you’ve put into this library and this school.”

I give him a little smile before he takes off, leaving me alone in the library. I pull out my phone, bringing up my messages. Then I freeze.

Why was my first thought to message Nix and Kassian? Why do I want to call them and tell them everything?

They’re busy. I shouldn’t be bothering them with this.

I hit call and wait. It doesn’t take long before I get a response.

“Dad?”