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Yeah, this sad cat needed to come home with me. Adonis, her, and I were going to make a happy little family.

***

I rang the doorbell and stepped back. I couldn’t wait to see the expression on Adonis’ face. “Get ready, Larry,” I said. “Strike a cute kitty pose.”

Larry meowed.

Adonis opened the door with a huge smile on his face. But then he took one look at the big pile of stuff on his doorstep and his smile dropped. His eyes narrowed at Larry. “Nope,” Adonis said and started to close the door.

I laughed and grabbed it before he could. “Wait. You haven’t even met the little kitty.”

“I don’t need to meet him,” Adonis said.

“It would be rude to not say hello to your new pet.”

“I don’t have a pet.”

“Yes you do. And she’s perfect. You’re going to love her, trust me.”

Adonis sighed. “You promised me you wouldn’t get me a pet.”

“No, technically I promised not to give you a gerbil or a fish. Larry is a cat. But she needs a new name. Because she’s a she and she hates that one. She hates a lot of things, apparently, but I’m not sure if any of it’s true. The pet store people just didn’t get her. But she came with a list.” I handed Adonis the list of things Larry hated. And then I grabbed the cat carrier and walked inside.

“Aphrodite...”

“Get the rest of her things,” I called over my shoulder.

I heard a string of curses in response.

I ignored Adonis and took the cat carrier up to Adonis’ room.

Adonis had bags of food and cat litter in his arms as he walked into the room after me. He dropped it all unceremoniously on the floor of his room. The list of Larry’s hates fluttered to the ground.

“You’re going to want to put the litter box somewhere other than your room.”

“No,” Adonis said.

“You want it in here? It’s going to smell.”

“No, I don’t want it at all.”

“Then where else will Larry go? She’s not trained to use a toilet.”

Adonis sighed. “Return the cat.”

“But you haven’t even met her yet. You’re going to love her. And even if you don’t, she’s going to make a great guard cat.”

“A what?”

“A guard cat. If you don’t get along, you’ll barely notice she’s here. She needs zero attention,” I lied. My cute little Larry needed lots of attention. But I’d give it to her whenever I was here. “And she’ll scare away intruders.”

“Pretty sure my security alarm takes care of that.”

“But this way you won’t be alone all the time in this big house. And if you hear a noise in the middle of the night you can blame Larry instead of a ghost. Plus she’ll definitely attack an intruder. She’s fiery.”

Adonis just shook his head.

“I know how much you like that. She’s just like me.”