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And I couldn’t really stomach it. Because my stomach was empty when I drank it. And everything hurt.
“Coffee isn’t food,” Jacob said.
“Coffee gives you energy. Just like food does.”
He shook his head. “Someone else want to try?”
“Soph,” Scarlett said. She kept talking, but I wasn’t paying attention.
School really sucked without Mr. Halifax. Seeing him in class and in the halls was what I lived for. I stared down at my cup. Yeah, everything sucked without him. I took another sip of coffee and my stomach churned.
“Are you even listening to me?” Scarlett asked.
“What?” I looked up from my coffee to see her concerned face.
“How about we test out some of those weird Russian rules you found. That’ll cheer you up.”
I just stared at her. I’d been considering making the Single Girl Rules my whole personality. But that was the old me. The me that was happy and hopeful. She was long gone.
“How about…Single Girl Rule #32?”
I just kept staring at her. “Really? That one?” She almost got me to laugh.
“Sure. It’s something about getting back out there, right?”
“No. Single Girl Rule #32: Exes are off limits unless their cock is 8 inches or more.”
Scarlett immediately shook her head. “Sorry, definitely not that one. I didn’t memorize them. Wait, does that mean you can’t date one of my exes or one of your exes?”
“I think one of yours. But Jacob is repulsed by me anyway.”
Jacob sighed.
“As he should be. And you’re a terrible single girl for not memorizing the rules, Scar.”
“Because I’m engaged.”
“Rub it in why don’t you. I’m never going to be married because married people have sex and I shouldn’t be allowed to do that anymore.”
She turned to Liam.
“Don’t look at me,” Liam said. “I have no idea how to fix her.”
I groaned. “I don’t need to be fixed. I just...” I shrugged. I didn’t know what I needed. “Do you guys think if I have lots of sex I’ll get better at it?”
Axel laughed. “Are you still on this? You’re not bad at sex, Soph.”
“How would you know? None of you can verify that. I’m related to everyone at this table except for you and Jacob. And you’re engaged and Jacob is repulsed by my lack of skills and can’t fathom having sex with me.”
“Sophie...” Jacob started.
“So my theory is the best possible conclusion to what happened with Mr. Halifax,” I said, cutting him off.
“I’m not repulsed by you,” Jacob said. “I just don’t think it’s...”
“You don’t think it’s a good idea. I know. I heard you. But it doesn’t matter anyway. More practice won’t help. I don’t think it’s something you can train to get better at. Or else pornography would be an Olympic sport. I’m so screwed. Not literally. Obviously. Just like...in life. I’m going to die alone.”
“You’re being very dramatic right now,” Scarlett said.
