Page 30 of Yearning Difficulties

‘She’s an individual,’ Chris said to me. ‘Like Killian.’

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Do you resent being the only neurotypical between the three of you?’

He laughed. ‘As interesting as they are as people, I don’t envy their behind-the-scenes, if you know what I mean.’

I watched Cherry’s hands as they rested gently against her stomach. Dave’s group had turned their attention to her now. Sterling and Cherry’s stepsister, Ashley, were eyeing her with malicious interest.

Then there was Logan Minola. He was reading a tattered paperback novel and ignoring the little looks Sterling and Ashley kept throwing towards him.

I put some sunglasses on. The autumn air might have been crisp, but the sun was startlingly bright. ‘So, uh . . . why aren’t you with Anderson and . . . ?’

Chris examined me and then his face broke into an enormous grin. ‘And my brother. Go on, you can say it. You wish he were here instead of me!’

‘I do not!’ I said, affronted. ‘But if he and I are going to keep up this dating ruse . . .’

‘I didn’t want to sit with them today,’ Chris said with a shrug. When he felt my eyes on his face, he gave me a reassuring smile. ‘No drama. I’m just . . . going through a bit of heartbreak.’

Chris was extremely private about his dating life, despite being out at school. I knew little about him, but that was known to all. I was about to ask if he wanted to talk about it when Killian emerged from the school building, eating a burrito. He immediately made a beeline for us.

As he passed Dave and his friends, the former threw out a snarky comment. I thought Killian hadn’t heard it at first but then, without looking away from Chris and me, he hurled the last of his food into my ex’s face.

I shook my head despairingly and Dave yelled something at the back of Killian’s head.

‘Dave has a big important interview today,’ I told him as he arrived, manoeuvring himself between his twin and me. ‘Priya told me, it’s why he’s not doing the broadcast with me today. That was uncalled for.’

Killian smirked. ‘So you’re alone on the radio today. Fantastic. You’ll finally get to talk and people will actually want to listen!’

I watched as Dave sulkily made his way towards the Mercedes that had pulled up for him.

‘Let’s hope you’re right.’

Later, I gave Jane Austen a break and finished up my notes for philosophy. I was sitting at one of the tables in the studio, present and prepared for a solo broadcast at Radio Panache. The atmosphere felt so much calmer without Dave. I wasn’t even that nervous about going on alone.

‘Hi, everybody,’ I said, when the radio jingle was over. ‘And welcome back to Radio Panache. Today’s topic is true love! I’m studying some very intense nineteenth-century literature right now. Has modernity killed true love stone dead? Or is it alive and kicking? You know how to reach us. But first! Some announcements!’

Priya gave me a thumbs-up from her booth and I smiled in return.

‘The Lake Pristine Tourism Board wants to remind students that the Halloween Ball will be at the country club this year. It’s open to students over the age of sixteen but I’ve been asked to communicate that although it’s not a school event, school standards still apply.’ I sighed before going on. ‘Please don’t shoot me, I’m the cool messenger for a very uncool message. But yeah. Come in costume. There’s even going to be a scavenger hunt with a cash prize!’

I checked my notes and then glanced at Priya. She held up one finger, signalling that there was a caller already waiting. I nodded at her.

‘My partner in crime is off air today,’ I said cheerfully. ‘We wish Dave lots of luck for his first university interview. So it’s just me. Call in with anything that’s on your mind right now, Lake Pristine! We have someone already. Go ahead, caller.’

‘Hi,’ came a drawling voice I thought I recognized. ‘I actually have a question.’

There was laughter in her tone and I suddenly felt blood pumping through my eardrums. ‘Yes? And who is this?’

‘This is Sterling Cavendish.’

I closed my eyes. She must have been calling from somewhere in the school, with all of her friends around her, egging her on. ‘And your question, Sterling?’

‘Is it true,’ Sterling’s voice played over the airwaves, ‘that you and the freak are dating?’

I felt cold anger simmer through me.

‘I don’t know who you’re referring to,’ I said stiffly. My voice was quiet but firm. ‘And I don’t like words like that, so I’m going to take you off the air.’

I felt shaken, so I must have sounded it. I looked to Priya, letting a touch of betrayal enter my face. She gave me an apologetic look and held up a second finger.