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With my fingertips along her scalp, I explore her entire head, pausing whenever I feel an inconsistency.

Twenty-three. That’s how many scabs are on her head, hidden by her hair. Some people bite their nails. Kota mutilates a part of herself no one can see. If she were to shave her head, it’d be more bloody crust than scalp. I had my suspicions but never called her out on it. I doubt she would’ve admitted to it anyway. She lied that night in the bathroom when I asked about the blood under her nails.

That’s why I got her a stuffed animal, to keep her hands busy and off her goddamn head.

Kota can act like she has the perfect life, but happy people don’t harm themselves, especially not to this extent.

A hand still in her hair, I pull her head up onto my chest while rolling to my back. I kiss her temple before pleading against the blonde strands, “Don’t let me break you.”

She’s the only silver lining I’ve ever come across and I can’t seem to let go.

A knock on the door has me squinting over at it. Who the fuck—

“Babe? You up yet?”

Guy.

I check the alarm clock on the nightstand. This motherfucker. He waited until seven o’clock in the morning to check on his girl, knowing damn well she was tanked last night.

I should probably get up in case he has a key and comes in to find me cuddling his girlfriend.

But then I wouldn’t have a reason to fight him so early in the morning.

The arm around Kota tightens, making her stir.

“I told you we need to be on the road by seven twenty,” he calls from the other side of the door, getting nothing from Kota, and a middle finger from me.

When his last knock before he walks away wakes Kota, I debate going out there and beating the ever-loving shit out of him. Fuck-ass bitch.

Eyes still closed, Kota nuzzles into my chest in a move I feel all the way down to my marrow. Far too soon, she’s rolling over into a whole-body stretch that she groans through.

“How are you feeling?”

Her arched back slams back down onto the mattress before wild eyes meet mine.

“Oh my God. Wha—”

“It’s okay. It’s not what you think,” I’m quick to tell her.

“We didn’t…” She gestures between us.

She doesn’t remember any of last night?

To avoid a meltdown, I keep the kiss to myself, saying, “No. Nothing happened.”

Her hands go to her forehead but I pull them down before she can get to her scalp.

Quietly, I tell her, “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what? Cradle my throbbing head?”

Is that what she was really doing?

I release her hands and she dives right back into her hairline.

“Here.” Grabbing her wrists, I relocate her hands to my head. We both have to turn onto our sides, then we’re facing each other again, just like last night.

“Are you that desperate for my touch?” She tries to rip her hands away, but I keep them in place.