Page 146

“Do you want me to go?”

I stand.

Why won’t she say anything?

“You gonna be able to lock the door behind me?”

She makes no move to get up.

“Kota?”

Is she awake? She said something about a bad dream before. Maybe that’s what’s going on.

What did she say about how to wake up? Falling? Was it falling?

Kneeling beside her bed, I whisper, “Fall, Kota.”

Her breathing catches, then her eyes pop open.

“You’re okay,” I tell her. “You’re safe now.”

Slowly, Kota’s head twists my way, followed by the rest of her body.

I prepare myself for the crash-out at finding me next to her bed, but all she does is grin, saying, “You don’t look so bad.”

Despite my eyebrows caving in, my own smile begins to grow. “No?”

“Mm-mm.”

This close, I can smell the alcohol on her breath as she trails her fingers over my face, careful to avoid the new wounds, before stopping at my lips. On a sigh, she stretches her neck and fits her lips to mine.

Now I’m the one stiffening. Fuck. She’s drunk. Why can’t she pull this shit when she’s sober?

There’s no heat in the kiss, it’s just…exploratory. Two pliant mouths pressed together.

Even though my entire body’s begging me not to, I pull back. “Um, Kota. You’re—”

“Why’d you make me wait so long?”

Is that the alcohol talking or was she actually waiting for me?

Either way…

“I’m sorry,” I tell her softly.

Her eyelids flutter closed, then she’s asleep again.

I can’t leave her alone in here. I can’t leave her alone, period.

After I quietly double-check the lock on her door and turn off the light, I remove my shoes to lie down alongside her. Turned on my side, I carefully roll her over to face me. I watch her for a while, memorizing her smooth forehead, the shape of her nose, the thickness of her eyelashes, the pout of her lips. Not one imperfection on this girl.

When I’m sure she’s not in another nightmare, I run a hand through her hair.

This time, Kota stirs.

“Shh, shh, shh. Go back to sleep, beautiful. It’s just me. I got you. You’re safe with me.”

Almost as quickly, she settles. That’s how I know she’s asleep. She never listens to me when she’s awake.