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“I’m that desperate to see you stop.”
“Stop what?”
“Hurting yourself.”
“I’m not… What are you talking about?”
“Onyx was supposed to keep your hands off your head.”
“That’s—”
“Since I don’t know where he is right now, you can do it to me. Hurt me instead. I can take it.”
Her arms go limp as she searches my eyes. For a moment, I let myself pretend she’s holding me because she wants to, not because I’m making her.
“I don’t…”
I’m already shaking my head. She can lie to everyone else, even herself, but not to me. I know the truth. I’m not judging her. I just want her to stop.
“I thought Onyx was a gift.”
“He was.” A gift with a purpose.
Our hands fall between us. I keep mine at the ready, in case she reaches for her hair again.
Instead, we hold each other’s gazes.
“Why are you here?”
“You got wasted and passed out.”
She frowns for a second before saying, “Oh.”
“With the door unlocked.”
Not one sign of fear enters her expression, only more acceptance.
All the gentleness leaves my body.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Kota? Do you know what could’ve happened to you?”
“Well, Guy—”
“Guy didn’t do shit. He was too busy—”
“Yeah, I know. But when the party was over, he was going to come up here—”
“He fucking didn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I was in here all night, making sure nobody was fucking with you, and the only time he came to that door was just now.”
“Just now?” Looking past me at her alarm clock, Kota’s eyes widen. “Oh, shit.”
She’s up off the bed the next instant, flitting around, gathering things.
“Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.”