Page 45 of And It’s Still You

“I’m good, Love. Does the thought of you being with another man piss me off? Absolutely, but why dwell on that when I’ve been the one having you?”

“And that’s how I feel about it too. Like I said, Terrance is a hater.”

Terrance scoffed. “Don’t be talking ’bout me like I’m not standing right here.”

“That’s why I said it. I’ll always say it to your face, not behind your back.”

“Respect, respect.”

Elise passed out the shots and demanded we do a toast. I couldn’t lie and act like spending time with them wasn’t healing and fun, especially doing it with Shea. They’d been through the brightest and the darkest times with us, never leaving our sides. No matter what, they gave us loyalty, and it was only right we gave it back.

After three shots and some food, we moved on to some games. Back in the day, we used to have game nights on a monthly basis. Elise and I would cook all the food while Shea and Terrance ran with JMG all day. There would be times they’d cancel on us, and I believed that was one of the things that drove Elise to giving Terrance an ultimatum.

“Man, this feels like old times, for real,” Terrance commented, looking around at all of us. “We gotta make sure we incorporate this back into our lives.”

“I agree.” Elise moved her piece and glanced over at me. “It’ll be different now that both of them are out of JMG. They won’t have any reason to cancel on us.”

I snickered and slapped hands with her. “Right, girl. They’ll be available to help us cook and all. Matter of fact, we should make them take charge of it while we go out and do whatever.”

“We weren’t doing whatever. We were working,” Shea defended. “Some shit was out of our control.”

“Exactly. Y’all act like we wanted to be out running all day. Nah. My mind and body had a max time to be away from Elise. When I hit a certain hour, I started shaking and scratching like I was going through withdrawals.”

My stomach ached from laughing so hard at Terrance. His crazy ass was scratching at his neck while nuzzling his face into Elise’s neck. I wasn’t sure how she dealt with his craziness all the time.

Terrance chuckled. “Don’t worry, Moya. O didn’t want to be out like that either. When his ass got quiet on everyone, we knew what time it was.”

I moved my piece and peered over at Shea. “So, you were being mean, huh?”

“Hell yeah, especially if it was some simple shit they could figure out on their own. I believe it was Onyx, for real. It was like he never wanted me to leave.”

“He didn’t.” Terrance cosigned. “He’d find a way to keep you there, which in turn kept me there as well.”

Elise shook her finger. “It doesn’t work like that, Tee. You’re your own person. You could’ve left and let Shea deal with it alone.”

“It doesn’t work like that in JMG nor as a right hand. I couldn’t let him deal with it alone, not when I saw how it affected him. That was one reason I felt bad ’bout getting out before he did. I didn’t want to leave him hanging,” Terrance explained.

“And I ’preciate you for that, but you had to do what was best for you and Elise. I couldn’t stop you from that, not when I knew it wouldn’t be as easy for me.” Shea held his fist out to Terrance, and he bumped it with his. “That’s why you’re my brother, for real.”

“You better know it.”

While Shea and Terrance were having their moment, I managed to move my piece and win the game. Terrance swore I cheated, but I’d been strategic the entire time. It was easy when everyone was so engrossed in conversation.

Since it was getting late, Elise volunteered for the men to clean the kitchen while she poured us one more glass of wine. I led her to the back, grateful for the cool breeze that greeted us. My face was hot from all the alcohol I’d consumed, and I needed a moment to breathe.

“Girl, I believe your ass be trying to get everyone drunk,” I teased Elise, taking a long sip of my water bottle. “I can’t hang with you like I used to.”

“I can’t hang with my damn self. You see I didn’t drink near as much as I used to. We’re getting older. My body can’t handle it.”

“Same, girl. I like a little glass of wine here and there, but I only indulge like once or twice a week. When I started working and having to navigate life alone, I cut back.”

“Speaking of life alone, how has life been with Shea again?”

I sat back and truly thought about my answer. My finger circled the rim of my wineglass as I stared off into space. “Life with Shea has been nothing short of amazing, Elise. I feel whole again. I feel like my life is back on track, exactly where I’m supposed to be. All the feelings I thought were gone reappeared like it hasn’t been five years. Our vibe is different. Our bond is different. We’re different, and I think that’s what’s made this experience what it is.”

“But?”

“But what if this a short-lived situation? What if when I go back home, we don’t continue where we are? That scares me to think about, especially with Ocean seeing us together. With Shea helping JMG, he’s lied to me twice, Elise. He didn’t come home when he said he would, and that triggered me. It made me think back to all the times he’d done it before.” I paused and took a gulp of my wine, allowing it and the truth of my emotions to settle. “I’d love to think he wouldn’t fall back into old habits, but what if he does?