Page 29 of Dark Notes, Volume Two

“Yeah, I know.”

McKinley throws her hand in the air.

“Then why? Explain it to me because I don’t understand.”

I twist my fingers in knots as I try to figure out the right words.

“The same reason you couldn’t stay away from Jagger.”

She sits down on the bed beside me and turns to me with concern etched on her face, making me feel even worse than I already do.

“They are not the same and you know that, Mia. Not even close.”

I place my hand over hers and sigh softly.

“Kins, I know they aren’t the same. Yes, he has a serious drug problem, but he makes me feel these things I can’t walk away from. He loves me, and I think I could love him.”

My heart pounds when I hear Jagger's voice sounding frantic. We bolt from the room in search of them. There are some moments that are etched into your memory for eternity. This is one I’ll never forget. Jett lies on the bedroom floor with a needle sticking out of his arm. His body is limp, fingernails blue, and his face pale.

“He doesn’t have a heartbeat!” Jagger yells as he starts CPR.

I drop to my knees with a loud thud as I fall forward beside him. A scream ripping from my mouth before my body begins to jerk with sobs. He’s still, so very still. Glancing up into his face, I know the truth.

Jett is dead. I can’t move. McKinley calls 9-1-1 as Jagger screams at Jett. I do nothing other than lie beside holding him tight as if my touch can breathe life back into him. But he is stone still while my heart breaks in my chest. My eyes are glued to the man that spoke promises, I knew he wouldn’t keep. I knew this would end in heartbreak. Just not like this. I repeat under my breath. “He’s gone. My baby is gone”

His skin is pale, almost to a blue color. A white foam surrounds the lips that kissed me so many times.

McKinley pulls me away from him and wipes my tears away. She holds me tightly as if she can keep my body from shaking. It’s no use, I am breaking apart from the inside out.

“Stay with me. We’re going to get through this.” She says softly.

The paramedics take Jett, and Jagger goes with them in the ambulance. My eyes dart around the room as my friend pulls me to my feet.

“Come on, honey. We’re going to meet them at the hospital.”

She wraps her arm around my waist and we walk slowly together, though my legs are like lead and my head foggy, making it hard to see.

“He’s dead, Kins.”

7

Chapter Sixteen

MIA

Sitting in this hospital waiting room for news on Jett is beginning to feel like suffocation. My mom used to say ‘a watched pot never boils,’ and I guess she was right because every minute feels like an hour.

I pull at the skin on my throat as I bite my bottom lip, and McKinley takes my wrist and pulls it away.

“Mia, stop, honey. You’re going to hurt yourself.” She says softly.

I attempt to take a deep breath, and it comes out shaky.

“I can’t breathe. I can’t fucking breathe.” I continue clawing at my throat as the panic fills me.

Glancing around the room, I spot Jagger pacing back and forth, clearly not faring much better than I am.

McKinley kneels in front of me and takes my hands in hers.