Page 46 of You’re So Vein

Komal: I’m okay with this. I find it hard to believe Augustin is the killer.

Beth: Why? You’re not FALLING for him, are you?

Komal: No

Komal: Noooooo.

Komal: NO.

Beth: So, no?

Beth: It’s just that you’ve been all weird about him lately.

Komal: I have not. I’m NOT falling for him, I’m just not convinced he’s running around killing humans and vampires in cold blood. We were trapped in that closet for hours, and he didn’t try to bite me.

Komal: I think we need to look elsewhere. We should focus on your client list and those marks around the wounds.

Beth: We should be focusing on your CAMPAIGN. How are you coming along with an event idea to uncurse November?

Komal: Oh. So. Good. I have lots of ideas.

Mina: Is one of them a literary festival? Or a bookshop pub crawl?

Beth: What about a mind/body/spirit retreat?

Isis: Naked women’s circle! Naked women’s circle!

Komal: It’s going to be brilliant and you’ll all be very happy. I’ll reveal all in good time.

Komal’s Uncurse November Village Festival Ideas

The Great Garden Gnome Migration

Villagers place garden gnomes in their front garden, only for the gnomes to be moved nightly by the “Gnome Goblin”. First to find the Queen Gnome wins a basket of goodies from local businesses.

The Festival of Haunted Objects

Villagers can bring haunted household objects and trinkets to be appraised by an antiques expert and an exorcist. Includes a bake sale and haunted doll donation bin.

The Lost-and-Found Fashion Show

A fashion extravaganza where local “models” walk the runway wearing outfits they cobbled together from the village lost-and-found.

The Great Ghost Hunt & Pancake Breakfast

A yearly tradition where the village conducts an all-night ghost hunt in one of our haunted buildings, followed by breakfast on the village green courtesy of Glazed and Confused. The black pudding is shaped like a ghost—

Oh, who am I kidding? These are all terrible.

I have nothing.

15Augustin

Argleton Weather Watch: Life’s too short to let a little storm stop you. Fly a kite! Become a bikini model! Join a cult! The world’s your oyster!

AM I IN LOVE WITH Komal Ahuja?

It’s impossible.