Page 47 of You’re So Vein

Unfathomable.

She’s the bane of my existence, the stone in my shoe, the fly in my blood cocktail.

She’s also human. Loving her is forbidden. It puts both of us in danger, and Hannah, too. With the Conclave representatives on their way, and Alaric and Gideon insisting that Komal be involved in our negotiations, we’re already tempting the fates with vampiric violence.

And yet…

I think of her passion for the village and the people she cares about, her relentless optimism in the face of overwhelming odds, her bizarre need to set aside her own dreams to help her family, and the way she throws her head back and laughs with her whole body (usually at my expense).

My stomach churns.

I imagine curling her long, dark hair around my fist and pulling her close, pressing her luscious body against mine, and the race of her pulse beneath my tongue, and a different part of my anatomy leaps to attention.

Okay, maybe I am the tiniest bit in love.

Maybe clashing against her in council meetings is the highlight of my week. Maybe she reminds me that beneath the weight of my responsibility for Hannah, I am still a man who wants, who wishes, who yearns. Maybe she makes me believe that the world can be a better place.

Maybe seeing her with her family, her friends, and especially her young nephews, makes me wish that Hannah and I could be swept up in their chaos. Maybe a little bit of chaos is okay, when it’s safe.

Maybe, despite everything, I feel safe with her.

The question is, what do I do about it?

“Are you okay?” Hannah asks as she runs over from where she’s weeding around the labyrinth, her hands smeared with dirt and her face speckled with raindrops. We were both going feral being cooped up inside, and the rain has let off enough that I felt we could enjoy the evening in the garden. “You’re making an odd face.”

“I’m perfectly okay,” I say, waving my hand over a freshly dug bed. Tiny shoots poke through the damp soil.

“Are you thinking about that councillor, Komal?”

I glance at her in surprise. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you get that sappy look on your face whenever you talk about her.”

“I do not.”

“You do. The other night, when you were texting her, you were smiling. You hardly ever smile anymore.” Hannah folds her arms and regards me with a concern that’s far too wise for her years. “It’s okay if you like her, you know. I’m old now. I don’t need you to look after me all the time. You can go on a date with Komal.”

I smile so she can’t see the panic her words surge inside me. “Oh yes, you’re so old. We’d better get to the post office to collect your pension.”

She huffs as she wipes her hands on her overalls and picks one of the bright red flowers I grew, twirling it in her hand. “You’re being silly. Don’t you want to go on a date?”

“I don’t need to date anyone. You’re my whole world.” I pull her into my arms. She’s so tiny, so fragile. Everything we have is fragile, and with the Conclave delegates in town, we’re closer than ever to being discovered. “We have a good life here, just the two of us. I know it’s not perfect, but it’s safe. I can’t risk putting you in danger by dating a human, no matter…”

… no matter how much I might want to.

“But she’s not like other humans, is she?” Hannah frowns up at me. “She knows about vampires, and she hasn’t run away screaming or come after you with holy water. Plus, you and your friends are going to make the vampires change their minds about me. So what’s the problem?”

“The problem is…” I sigh. “That maybe I would like to go on a date with Komal, but I don’t think she feels the same way.”

“You never know until you ask.” Hannah snuggles deeper into my arms, smearing my coat with mud. “Can I have some garlic pizza bread?”

I carry Hannah inside, light the fire, and set the pizza bread on top to bake. While she plonks down on the rug with a packet of beads and sets about bedazzling my wellingtons, I think about the stack of marriage resumes beside Chirag Ahuja’s hospital bed.

Maybe I don’t even have to risk asking Komal out. Maybe I can secretly find out first if there is even any hope.

Chirag Ahuja is a good man, if a little too eccentric for my tastes. Despite the obvious risks to life and limb, he’s volunteered to vet eligible suitors and introduce Komal to men she might like to date. The proper thing to do would be to submit myself to him and put my fate and happiness into his hands. If he thinks that Komal and I would make a good match despite our immense and obvious differences, his blessing would at least force Komal to consider me seriously as a suitor.

All I need to do is to make her stop seeing me as her rival for one moment, and I’m certain she’ll feel what I do.