Page 32 of I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life

It wasn’t that I wasn’t sad — there was so much loss that couldn’t be replaced. It was I had a fresh start I didn’t expect. It was a strange contradiction of emotions I was sure would be too much to handle as I started to actually process it. Not to mention, I knew I needed to get on the phone with my renter’s insurance. I knew I needed to track down somewhere to live. Misty’s apartment was too small for me and Sylvie, and Peri was a caretaker for her parents, and I wouldn’t ask to move in there. My options were limited, and it seemed like my best bet would be getting a blow-up mattress and sleeping in my classroom.

And I had a feeling my bosses wouldn’t be on board with that.

I looked at Sylvie, who was coiled up in her box as close to the heater as she could get. I sighed, worried the eternity between Thanksgiving and Winter Break had managed to get longer. And I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it.

Chapter twenty-four

Kameron

“Dad! Nobody’s here!” Cassidy yelled across the library — and I was too tired to even lecture her about how that was the last thing she was supposed to do in this space. I was exhausted; Noah had kept me up most of the night to read the reviews from his show, and the drive back hadn’t been kind. I’d planned on taking a nap after dropping her off and was fighting a yawn.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” I heard a voice from behind me and jumped, realizing it was Peri. It was uncanny the way she could silently sneak up behind someone, and I remembered her doing the same thing in high school. Frequently. “Nalini’s apartment burned down last night. She cancelled. I assumed you’d known.”

“There was a fire?” I immediately asked, my exhaustion making the words not quite make sense.

“Took out her entire complex; she lost almost everything,” Peri confirmed. “She doesn’t have a place to live, only has a pair of pajamas and her yoga clothes. The other apartment complex in town doesn’t have room for everyone, so it’s a scramble too…”

Peri continued talking, Cassidy listening to her every word. I could see it was calming her down to know Nalini was more or less physically okay. But my phone was already in my hands, and her number was already dialed.

“Kam… I’m really busy at the…” she answered, sounding even more exhausted than I felt.

“I know, I heard,” I interrupted. “However, I am unfortunately well-versed in talking to insurance companies, and I have a spare bedroom you can use until you find somewhere permanent.” It wasn’t until after I finished the offer I realized she’d probably turn me down. I wasn’t thinking of it as a big romantic gesture. I knew things were weird between us and the way we’d somewhat avoided each other all week. But all of that aside, she was still my friend, and I’d always try to help her if I could.

“Kam, that’s a lot to offer,” Nalini sighed, as I heard the hustle of what I assumed was a coffee shop in the background.

“But you should come!” Cassidy yelled, jumping up to steal my phone, “And bring Sylvie! I want to tell my friends I held a snake!” I heard Nalini’s laugh and the two talked for a moment while I noticed Peri looking at me — she gave me a small nod and walked back to her desk. I think it was the closest I'd ever gotten to Peri’s approval, and I wasn’t going to try and ruin things now.

“She said she’ll come,” Cassidy said, shoving the phone back into my hands.

“We’re at the library, so I’ll head back and get the guest room ready for you,” I promised as the two of us started moving out of the building. “Come once you’re ready.”

I knew there was a lot Nalini would need — and I didn’t want to overwhelm her with trying to do it all at once. We’d handle it all on her terms and at her speed, because I unfortunately knew what it was like to have my world turned upside down.

By the time we got home, I figured we had about ten minutes before she arrived, though I wasn’t entirely sure if she was in the coffee shop on Main Street or the one a town over. It gave me just enough time to put sheets on the bed in Noah’s old room and do a light cleaning job.

The room itself was a time capsule — outside of making sure it didn’t accumulate dust, neither Cassidy nor I had spent any time in it. Books and posters lined the walls; the keyboard our parents bought Noah when he was six sat unused. And strangely enough, there was unfinished homework still on his desk.

“Cass, can you grab the duster for me?” I asked as she ran in with the materials. While I’d cleaned it recently, it didn’t stop me from wanting to make sure it was as livable as Nalini needed. As I worked, giving it a deeper clean than I had any of the other times I’d been in here, I found a few things I hadn’t expected: ticket stubs from our first concert, a CD of our first album. The room was a memorial to the early days of RaineFall, and I hoped it wouldn’t make Nalini uncomfortable.

“Nalini!” Cassidy yelled as the doorbell rang, running across the house to tackle her in a hug. Nalini was cradling a cup of hot coffee that seemed to be the only source of warmth she had. Her yoga pants and tank were completely inappropriate for the snow, and her slippers barely counted as shoes. The plastic tub that held her snake was sitting on the living room floor, and I could swear the thing was sizing me up and deciding whether or not it could eat me for lunch. Nalini looked exhausted, and it was obvious she needed a nap, and my child, who had no idea how loud she was, really wasn’t helping the situation.

Cassidy stared at the snake in awe, and I was terrified she’d ask for one. But that was something I could think about how to avoid later, because at the moment we had a crisis to handle.

“I have you in Noah’s old room, and I can grab some clothes for you if you need something to change into.” She nodded in thanks as I went and grabbed her a t-shirt and a pair of sweats, and made her way into the bedroom.

“Is Nalini okay?” Cassidy asked once she was out of the room.

“Probably not,” I answered, “she had a scary night, and she lost everything she owned. We need to be gentle with her for the next few days, okay?”

“Like how people were when Mom died?” she asked, and I nodded. I hated making the comparison because the two losses were so different. But I wasn’t surprised that was where Cass’ mind went to, and it gave her a good blueprint of how to act in this kind of situation.

“Exactly,” I finally said, “Let’s let her have a little alone time, okay?” Cassidy immediately nodded before her attention was back on the snake. She sat in front of the tub, trying to soothe Sylvie out of the ball the reptile had curled up in. I really wasn’t sure I liked having the snake in the house, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to live with. As long as it didn’t slither into my bed in the middle of the night.

Things seemed to have settled enough that thoughts of Nalini filled my head again. I was afraid I’d made things worse. As awkward as our distance was, it was important for us to figure out how to go forward. Now that we couldn’t go a day without seeing each other, I was afraid more emotional wires might get crossed.

I sighed, knowing I’d done the right thing. But it didn’t stop my worries that somehow this would make things worse. Even though a smaller voice in the back of my mind had to ask the question, what if it makes it better?

Chapter twenty-five