Page 61 of This Is Not True Love’s Kiss

I made to move but Leena caught my arm, her grip tight. “Let me. That was my fault, and she might not be ready to talk to you. So I’ll do it. Besides, I’d like to get to know her.”

I wasn’t sure if that was the best idea, but she was right. Aoife wouldn’t want to talk to me, and if I tried to push a conversation, we’d likely just end up in another argument.

I nodded and hoped this hadn’t ruined what little progress I’d made with my wife.

CHAPTER 31

Aoife

The warmth of the fire felt good after the cold bath I’d taken in the nearby stream. One of the rebel members had a dress packed that fit my larger frame, and it felt good to be in soft clean clothes while my other clothes were being washed.

I’d needed something good to cling onto after what I’d walked in on earlier. After Ronan had as good as confirmed it, I knew that Leena had been Lor’s lover, but walking in on an intimate moment between them had been a gut punch. It shouldn’t have been.

Lor was welcome to do whatever he wanted. I’d given him no reason to believe I expected fidelity from him, and yet . . . and yet, what? We’d had one mostly nice week together, one night spent cuddling, and suddenly I wanted him to actually be my husband in all aspects?

I poked at the fire with a stick, embers flying into the air and landing on the ground.

It was ridiculous, and it wasn’t fair to Lor. But I’d never been known to be a fair person. Fierce, yes. Stubborn, absolutely. Courageous, to be sure. Not fair.

“Mind if I join you?”

I looked up to see Leena standing there, the waning sun lighting her blond hair.

I gestured to the spot on the ground next to me. “There’s plenty of room.”

“I think Lor went to bathe,” Leena said, “but he told me to let you know he’d join you shortly.”

“It seems like you two have a lot of catching up to do.” I internally winced at the bitterness of my tone.

“We don’t,” Leena said. “Not in that way. I⁠—”

I turned to face her. “Were you two lovers?”

Her green eyes widened, her mouth making a perfect O shape. “I—well, yes.”

A pit formed in my stomach, and I ignored it. “It’s okay,” I said. “It’s not like I knew him, then. Not like he betrayed me.”

“Lor and I were the first rebels Arthon recruited,” Leena said softly.

“Arthon?” I asked. I’d heard the name.

“He founded the rebels,” Leena explained.

Ah. Lor had never mentioned him, but Ronan had.

“For years, it was us three, the only rebels among the brotherhood. We just had each other. Lor protected me from Arthon. He could be cruel. He was very critical of everything. He expected perfection from us, and if he didn’t get it, he’d tear us down. Lor took it hard when he didn’t meet Arthon’s expectations, and I think somewhere along the way, Lor stopped knowing the difference between his internal voice and Arthon’s.”

Every instance of Lor being critical, rigid, cold, flashed through my mind. It all made sense now. Lor had spent years in an environment where perfection was expected. And he carried that with him, holding himself to impossible standards.

A sad smile tugged Leena’s lips. “Whenever I did something wrong, Lor would somehow do something worse to get Arthon’s attention off me. Arthon would call Lor names, tell him he wasn’t worthy, tell him he regretted ever recruiting Lor.”

I winced. That was horrible.

“I loved him for the way he protected me. I think in a way we were inevitable.” She jolted like she was shaking herself from a memory. “Sorry.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. That Lor did that. That Lor suffered through that. Ronan had hinted at it when we’d talked, but I’d never have guessed it was that bad.

“We were never more than lovers. I did ask him to marry me, you know.” Leena gave an embarrassed laugh as my head whipped toward her.