Page 60 of This Is Not True Love’s Kiss

“In the last year,” she said, and my mouth dropped open.

I blinked and turned to stare at her. “That’s double the amount we did in my last year leading the rebels. That’s amazing, Leena. You’re doing so well.”

She bit her lip, looking so unsure of herself. “I was worried I wouldn’t be able to accomplish what you or Arthon did, and I tried to run things the way you had, but I just couldn’t. I had to do it my way.”

“Your way is clearly impressive,” I said, staring at all those black dots, wondering what Arthon would have to say.

“The rebels had quite an adjustment to make,” Leena said. “They missed your schedules, your order, your rules. Some even defected, leaving the rebels and the brotherhood altogether because they didn’t like working under me.”

I snorted. “That happened when I took over for Arthon.”

Leena gave me a look. “No it didn’t. Everyone was relieved when Arthon died, and you stepped up.”

“Leena,” I said, my tone admonishing, but she just laughed.

“It’s true! Everyone feared Arthon. He did a lot of good starting the rebels, but he was also harsh and strict beyond reason. He was cruel, especially to you. The way he talked to you . . .” She shook her head, a few blond tendrils escaping her tight bun. “You were never like that.”

“He was trying to make me better, the best.”

“No.” Her eyebrows scrunched. “He was an old man with a lot of trauma and baggage, and he took it out on you. He hated himself, and every cruel thing he said to you about not being good enough, not working hard enough, not being worthy to be a leader—those were all the things he thought about himself.”

I blinked. I’d never thought of it that way. I always thought I deserved every cruel thing Arthon said to me, but Leena was right. I wasn’t like him. I didn’t lead with cruelty. I never had. In some ways, I’d strayed far from Arthon’s teachings. And now Leena had strayed so far from mine. I thought of Aoife, of all the times she’d insisted she could do things differently than me and how I’d been so stubborn, so convinced she couldn’t.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I’d been a fool.

“Everyone loved you,” Leena said, not realizing the spiral her words had sent me down. “Including me.”

Those words snapped me from my stupor.

Leena took a step toward me. “Is that woman . . . the queen? The one whose curse you broke?”

I nodded.

“Oh.” She swallowed thickly, pressing her lips together like she was trying not to cry. “I’d always held out hope that one day you and I would reunite. That we’d be together again.” She stepped even closer, enough that I could see the pale freckles dotting her nose as she gazed up at me. “Is it a real marriage?” She hesitated. “Do you love her?”

Godwitches be. I’d never wanted more than a partnership, someone to work with me as we strived to make Fairwitch Isle a better place. I’d never cared if Aoife and I had a “real” marriage. Not until right in this moment when Leena had asked the question. I wanted to say yes, to imagine this life where Aoife and I were more than just wary allies.

Leena reached her hand up, cupping my cheek, and right then, Aoife walked into the tent.

She stiffened, eyes wide, and I quickly stepped back from Leena, immediately realizing how guilty that made me look.

A cold, indifferent mask slipped over Aoife’s face that I knew well. She was furious, and I couldn’t blame her.

“Oh.” Leena put her hand over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. We’re just two old friends talking.”

“Yes, it looks like it.”

“We were talking about the brotherhood,” I said, then winced. That was what I’d intended to talk to Leena about. We hadn’t quite gotten that far yet.

Aoife raised her chin. “And what did you learn?”

“Not a lot,” I admitted.

“I imagine you didn’t,” she said with a pointed stare. “Well I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to know if you were hungry,” she said. “I got you a bowl of stew.”

“Aoife.” I stepped forward, but she whirled and stalked out of the tent before I could stop her.

I scrubbed a hand down my face. “I’d better go after her.”