Page 62 of This Is Not True Love’s Kiss

“You what?”

Her cheeks turned pink, and she shook her head. “It was silly. And Lor very gently let me know he had no intention of getting married, that he never wanted to.”

The pit in my stomach deepened, and I hated it. It didn’t matter that he never wanted a wife. I never wanted a husband. We were on the same page. It was a good thing. At least it was supposed to be.

“I’m sorry,” Leena said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that—he’s obviously changed his mind now that he’s married to you.”

“You were there the day he kissed me and broke my curse,” I said. “He had no choice in the matter. He bound himself to me, to the crown.”

Leena’s face softened, and she leaned forward. “Nothing happened between us. It wasn’t even Lor who did anything. I’m the one who reached for him. It was stupid. I’ve missed him so much, and—” She covered her cheeks. “I’m doing a horrible job of explaining.”

I actually felt sorry for this mortal woman. She clearly was trying to make the situation better and was also failing miserably.

“It’s alright,” I said. “There’s no love between me and Lor. We both got stuck in a situation neither of us desired. What he does outside of our marriage doesn’t affect me.”

Leena shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true.”

I snorted. “That we got stuck together? I assure you it is.”

“No, that it doesn’t affect you. When you walked in on us, you looked like someone who’d just been gutted with a fish hook.”

“You’re wrong,” I burst out. A group of rebel members walked by, glancing at us, and I lowered my voice. “I spent my life as a slave, always doing someone else’s bidding. I had no desire to be chained to anyone else ever again.”

Her brows drew together. “That’s what you think marriage is?”

“That’s what I think marriage to Lor is,” I snapped. “He’s so stubborn, so headstrong, so sure he’s always right. He doesn’t compromise or listen . . .”

“This mission was his idea?” Leena asked in a tone that told me she already knew the answer.

“Well, no. I wanted to do this, and he . . . followed.” I mumbled the last word.

“It’s not that he’s trying to control you. It’s just that he’s so convinced everything falls on him, that he’s ultimately responsible. Arthon instilled those ideals in him. Made him believe he had to hold himself to impossible standards. He’s been chasing those standards ever since, punishing himself when he can’t reach them.”

I swallowed. He did something so brave in joining the rebels, so unbelievably hard, all so he could make a difference.

A warm feeling spread through me that had nothing to do with the fire. Lor was a good king, and maybe we didn’t have to be enemies. Maybe he’d been right about being partners, working together.

But that was all we’d be. I grabbed my wrist, massaging the scar tissue, feeling the familiar metal chains snapping closed.

I stared up at the darkened sky, the sun now gone and replaced by glittering stars and the crescent moon. The firelight washed us in orange and yellow shades. “You and Lor can do whatever you’d like. Truly. Don’t let me get in the way.”

The words tasted like bile on my tongue, but I swallowed the sour taste.

Leena’s eyes widened. “Lor would never do that. He wouldn’t betray his marriage. Not when he would see it as wrong.”

Of course not. I didn’t know if her words made me feel better or worse.

I stood abruptly, needing to get away from Leena and this conversation. “I’m quite tired. You can let Lor know I decided to retire for the evening.”

Without waiting for a reply, I walked away from her and toward my tent.

CHAPTER 32

Lor

Leena had sent me to the nearest creek, letting me know how badly I smelled. Now I had a fresh change of clothes, a full stomach, and I was clean.

I was ready to find Aoife, to face whatever she had to say, and to tell her exactly what was on my mind. The moon glowed overhead, providing just enough light to guide my way back to the camp. It wasn’t a long walk through the trees, and the glow of firelight flickered in the distance.