Page 8 of Knot Now Knot Ever

Eli shifted in his seat and scratched his jaw, which showed a bit of dark stubble. “That is a more complicated answer than you’d expect, but I fully intend to explain my situation. The short answer is no, I don’t have a pack I’m a part of. For now, I think it’s best if we focus on things between us. Then, we can tackle my personal drama.”

“Well, at least I’m not the only one with issues,” I said with a heavy sigh, then slapped a hand over my mouth, horrified at how bitchy that might have sounded to Eli. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that.”

A half smile appeared on Eli’s face, warming his naturally calm expression. “You’re fine, Lyra. There’s no need to censor yourself around me. I fully intend to get to know the real you, sass and all.”

“Trust me when I tell you that no one wants to know the real me,” I argued with a scoff, running my hand through my tangled hair.

Oh God, I must look like a disaster after being out in the wind and rain then ending up here. I wonder if Clara might be able to scrounge up a brush or comb for me to use. Maybe even a toothbrush and toothpaste—I can only imagine how bad my breath is right now.

My train of thought came to a screeching halt as a hand cupped my chin and turned my face until I was again trapped in Eli’s gaze. “It is important to me for you to understand I’m not a man who speaks casually. Every word out of my mouth has been selected because of its truthfulness. I don’t waste time, money, or words, so when I use any of these things, people take me seriously.”

The Alpha was seeping out of him as he spoke, making my needy Omega ass want to roll over on her belly like a puppy begging for pets. Never had I been so turned on and, at the same time, ready to put my tail between my legs, ashamed that I would ever doubt his intentions.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted, needing to make up for my mistake.

Eli’s hand shifted from my jaw to cup my cheek, letting his thumb brush gently over my skin. “Forgive me, that was far more aggressive than I meant it to be. Hearing you speak that way about yourself and knowing you truly believe it struck a nerve with me. It’s not an excuse, just simply an explanation of my intense reaction. For too many years, I watched my sister struggle against the lies people told her about not being good enough because of her condition. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is worthy of love.”

“Having mental health problems that can sometimes be debilitating isn’t the same to people as having a physical illness you can’t fix,” I pointed out, not to invalidate his point but to help him understand my struggle. “People blame the illness for why you can’t be like them, which doesn’t make it right or less hurtful. When it comes to mental health, they label me the problem because I should just be able to get over it. It’s simple. Take a pill, talk to a therapist, exercise, and try to appreciate my life a little more. That should fix it, right? Well, yeah, for some people, but others aren’t that lucky.”

Eli stood, and the next thing I knew, he enveloped me in a hug with his head resting on mine. “You still deserve to be loved, Lyra. That is what I’d like to do. I want to learn how to love my Omega the way she needs it.”

My hands curled around the sleeve of his sweatshirt, clinging to his arm as he held me. A riot of emotions shot through my body in conflicting waves. I was saved from giving him an answer when a knock alerted us to someone entering the room. Instead of going back to the seat beside the bed, Eli sat beside me with a hand resting on my foot. A different doctor entered with Clara, dressed in a nice pair of slacks and a button-down shirt under his white coat.

“Good morning, I’m Dr. Gilson, a neuro specialist here in the hospital,” he introduced himself with a pleasant smile to me and a nod to Eli. “Isobelle asked me to look over your charts just to be sure before we sent you home. I see no reason why we need to keep you any longer than we already have. All your vitals have stayed where we want them, and Clara noted there hasn’t been any additional confusion or issues with speech or motor skills. Right now, I think it’s best for you to go home where you can relax and rest. Should you have any discomfort, taking an over-the-counter medication will be fine, but if the pain is worsening or you experience any dizziness, then come back in. Do you have any questions for me?”

I shook my head, but Eli spoke up. “Is there any sign of a concussion?”

Dr. Gilson flipped open the folder holding my chart and flipped through the pages. “I don’t see that an MRI or a CT scan was done, but since she didn’t lose consciousness, they might have decided it wasn’t necessary.”

“I don’t care if they feel it was unnecessary. She’s not leaving until we have that answer,” Eli informed the doctor.

Snapping the folder closed, Dr. Gilson gave Eli an appraising look. “Fine, if you want to waste your time and money for a test that doesn’t need to be done, so be it. Clara, can you get that ordered?” he directed.

“Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate how thorough you’re being with my Omega,” Eli said, his tone polite but icy. “I’d appreciate it if you did a full bedside neurological exam as well since you’re here.”

The muscle in the doctor’s jaw began to twitch as he held back whatever choice words he’d rather be saying. “Why not.”

Eli then stood but only moved to stand out of the way at the head of the bed. Dr. Gilson had me answer a few questions, push and pull against his touch with both hands and feet, then stand with my arms out and close my eyes, counting to ten. In the final step of the exam, he tested my reflexes, and I reacted so strongly that I almost kicked him between the legs.

“Sorry,” I offered, reaching out as he quickly stepped back. “I didn’t know I’d react like that.”

Dr. Gilson nodded as he slipped the little hammer back into his jacket’s breast pocket. “It happens from time to time. Some people are just more sensitive. I can conclusively say from this examination there are no outward signs of any brain trauma due to your fall. Clara will take you to imaging soon, then I have a feeling you’ll be on your way shortly.”

With a terse nod, the doctor spun on his heel and left the room. After having watched the two Alphas as they sparred through this interaction, I was glad Eli was on my side. Now, all the comments people said about Eli appearing cold, detached, or rude made sense. He was, in fact, none of those things, but many people can often interpret an efficient man who knows exactly what he wants to be rude. In his eyes, why send a neurologist to look over my case if he wasn’t actually going to examine me?

“May I ask you a personal question, Lyra?” Eli inquired, sitting on the edge of my bed again.

I shrugged. “You can ask as long as you’re okay with me choosing not to answer.”

“Seems fair to me,” Eli agreed. “Do you always tend to apologize for things? I don’t mean that to sound condescending or belittling. I’m simply trying to understand if you truly feel sorry for whatever happened or if it’s a reaction to keep people from getting upset with you?”

Stunned, I sat there and blinked a few times, unsure if I knew the answer. “Ah…”

My brain was firing off answers left and right, trying to calculate what would be the best response to give him. Did he want me to be genuinely sorry? Was I sorry when I said sorry? Is he right? Do I just say it because it’s what most people want to hear when you’ve done something wrong? Should I stop saying sorry? Wait, if I stop saying sorry, what would I say instead? Oh, for fuck’s sake, the question wasn’t that hard. Just answer him.

“Sorry, I⁠—”

“No,” Eli cut in, making my mouth snap shut. “Take all the time you need to answer the question, Lyra. The expression on your face tells me you might not have realized how often you apologize for things. When you are confident in your answer, whether it’s today, tomorrow, or next week, then you can give it to me.”