Page 7 of Knot Now Knot Ever

With that matter settled, I was now faced with the choice of staying out here and waiting for them to take her to a room or giving Lyra some space. Then I remembered my promise, and even if she hadn’t felt like it was one I could keep, I planned to do my damnedest. No Omega of mine was going to face being in the hospital alone.

Having decided, I took a deep breath and slipped behind the curtain.

He just sat there silently beside my bed.

Not once since they brought me to this private room did he leave my side. Even in the ER, where there were no chairs for him to sit, he stood. I’d been worried he’d try to get me to talk, to explain myself, but he didn’t.

A woman who introduced herself as Isobelle brought us clean, dry clothes in the form of basic sweatpants and a T-shirt, but it was better than being forced to stay in the thin, breezy hospital gown.

The few moments it took for the nurse to help me change once we’d arrived in the private room was the only time Eli Thatcher hadn’t been within eyesight. I knew it was his doing that I ended up here in this posh space that didn’t resemble a hospital room. If it hadn’t been for the nurse who was assigned to me and the soft glow of the monitors constantly reading my vitals, I’d have thought I was in a hotel.

Rolling over so my back was to Eli, I saw flashes of lightning behind the curtains covering the large windows. I had no idea what time it was or how I would ever be able to show my face at work. How stupid did a person have to be to go running out into a fucking storm? God, it was all so mortifying. Thinking back on the ambulance ride, my recollection was spotty, and I couldn’t tell what was real or a twisted memory induced by my panic. Why? Why on earth did one of the triggers I couldn’t free myself from have to be a goddamn ambulance?

I’d never been so grateful than when they had Eli step out of the room as they asked for my medical history. Then he didn’t have to hear the medication I was on and further the proof I was a basket case. Dealing with my issues, as it were, was the hardest part for my previous pack to understand and respect. Believe me, it wasn’t for lack of trying, and if they only knew what I was like right after losing my mom, they’d be impressed with me now.

I understand it, though. It’s hard to love someone whose anxiety over certain things can’t be reasoned with. No manner of logic given could dissuade the belief I had, even if I wanted to try. Medication only helps mitigate certain roadblocks, but it’s not a cure-all. Now, I’ve landed myself in a situation I’d feared for years and had no clue what to do about it.

“Lyra…” Eli said softly.

Hearing the tenderness in his voice when he didn’t even know me was like a dagger to my wounded heart. My Omega instincts wanted me to give in to the comfort and safety he promised. However, my brokenness told me it was far too risky, and it was safer to keep him at arm’s length. Memories of my mother screaming, crying, and begging for my fathers to wake up when we were asked to identify the bodies reminded me of what could happen if I gave into this connection between Eli and myself. Looking back on it now as an adult, the truth of the matter was I lost my mom on that same day. She was never the same, a husk of herself, drowning in her grief, and no one could fix it.

A body molded to my back as an arm wrapped gently around my waist. When he nuzzled my hair out of the way so his lips could kiss the back of my neck, I lost it. It was too much, and none of my coping skills were going to be enough to help me through this wave of grief I’d locked away. Fearing I’d become my mother, I locked away so much of myself to keep my head above water. This was one of the biggest things my therapist and I worked on—finding these locked boxes of emotion so I could face them. It had been over a year since I’d been willing to go through the pain of reliving this time of my life.

Twisting, I grabbed Eli’s sweatshirt and tucked my head under his chin as the memories crashed into me like a wave in the ocean. Sobs shook my body while I cried, overwhelmed by the sense of loss and loneliness. They were gone—everyone I loved had been torn away from me without warning. Was there anything I could trust?

“You can trust me, Lyra,” Eli soothed, pausing in his purring to reassure me. “I’m so sorry you’ve been so alone and I didn’t find you sooner. Now that I have, I’ll do whatever it takes to make up for causing you so much pain.”

If only it were that simple. How I wished I could trust what he was offering, but I didn’t even know if that was possible. I was too damaged—my heart was covered in scars and still healing from the last rejection. Still, I clung to Eli, letting his scent flood my senses, so all I could think of was how fucking glad I was that he was here holding me. When I’d cried myself out, I drifted to sleep, cradled in Eli’s strong arms and listening to his steady heartbeat. It was some of the best sleep I’d ever had, leaving me feeling refreshed even though my nurse, Clara, woke me up at five in the morning.

“I’m sorry, Miss Clark, but I need to take your vitals and check a few things before the day nurse starts her shift,” Clara apologized.

Eli pressed a kiss to my forehead, making my breath catch in my throat at the butterflies it gave me. “I’m gonna give you two a minute alone while I use the restroom, but I’ll be right back.”

Tongue-tied, I nodded, fearing what might come out if I tried to speak. With a reassuring squeeze of my hand, he got up and headed out of the room, leaving me with the nurse.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be quick,” Clara assured me. “I remember when our pack’s Omega first showed up, none of the Alphas could get enough of him and vice versa.”

My cheeks heated at the suggestive look in her eyes. “Oh, we-we aren’t together,” I said, stammering in my awkwardness about the situation. “I don’t even really know him.”

Clara’s gaze flicked up from the blood pressure cuff to mine. “Why would that matter? You’re scent-matched, right?”

Opening and closing my mouth like a guppy, I tried to figure out how to explain.

“Look, I totally understand if this is new for you, but once an Alpha finds their scent match, that’s it. No one else in the world will ever be enough for them. I had to work through that with my wife since we were together before Alex was added to our pack. She loves Alex on a level no Beta can understand, but it doesn’t mean she loves me any less… it’s just different. It also helps that Alex and I fell head over heels for each other, proving you absolutely can love more than one person at a time,” Clara shared, slinging her stethoscope back around her neck. “Give him a chance. Let the man court you if you’re not ready to jump in with both feet.”

With that pearl of logic, Clara patted my leg and headed over to the computer in the corner of the room to input her data. Pulling my knees to my chest, I hugged my legs and rested my head, feeling torn. If what Clara said was true, then even if I left, I might be protecting myself but hurting Eli in the process. The pain I was trying to prevent would become daily life for him, making the effort moot. There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d ever inflict that existence on my worst enemy. It destroyed my mother before my eyes.

“I’ve been told by a reliable source that I’m a rather good listener if talking would help,” Eli said, followed by the sound of a chair being dragged over.

Without lifting my head, I turned to look at him sitting beside my bed. “I’m so sorry you ended up with me as your scent-matched Omega, Eli.”

His brows snapped together, and disapproval flickered in his icy blue gaze. “Why in the world would you ever need to apologize to me? I’m the one who wasn’t in the Scent Matchers’ system, preventing us from being matched. If one of us should be offering an apology, it should be me.”

“You weren’t in the system?” I asked, lifting my head, intrigued by this bit of information.

“That is correct. You see, my father had a genetic heart condition that caused him to pass away at a young age. He would have gotten help sooner if he’d known it was a problem, but it wasn’t until my sister, Bailey-Rose, was born with the same condition that my parents got tested. Thankfully, he was able to live a full and happy life in the time he had, but the Scent Matchers, in all their wisdom, decided that my sister and I shouldn’t be allowed to partake in the matching system.” As he talked about the Scent Matchers, his thinly-veiled disdain had me fighting against the need to smile.

“So you don’t have a pack?” I inquired.