Page 10 of Knot All Is Ruined: Part 1

Lucian cocked his head, and I couldn’t tell if he was actually trying to smother a smile or if it was the way the scar tugged his lip. “I can only offer that when we are in private. If I did that where others could hear, it would draw too much attention, and trust me when I tell you that’s the last thing you want.”

I considered that offer, lifting my hand to chew on the skin around my thumb. It was a bad habit I developed in the Care Center when I got super stressed out. The pain helped me focus and keep my mind on what was important rather than letting it spiral into darker thoughts.

“Guess I don’t have much to bargain with, do I?” I grumbled. “It’s Danella, Danella Holdstad.”

His gaze seemed to warm for a split second before it was gone, almost as if I’d imagined it. “Danella, I have a proposition for you that I think might work out the best for both of us.”

Dropping my legs so I was sitting cross-legged, I leaned forward to give him my full attention. “You finally realized that I’m going to be the biggest pain in the ass so you’re going to take me out to the middle of nowhere and drop me off?”

That actually got a harsh bark of laughter out of him that he smothered instantly. “You might not believe me, but that is a far worse option than staying here with me. There are those who have decided to hide in the mountains so they don’t have to serve in the military. They’ve turned feral and would attack you in a heartbeat. Rumors say they would even eat those who dare to trespass on their land.”

Even though I didn’t know if I believed him or not, nothing about that sounded like I wanted to chance it. “Alright then, what’s your proposition?”

He sobered and his body became more rigid as if he’d caught himself relaxing as he talked to me and snapped back into his commander persona. It was almost as if he couldn’t allow himself to be anything except harsh and domineering.

“I don’t want an heir, I don’t ever want to bring a child into this world. The reason things have been done the way they have with you is because I refused all other Omegas they’ve tried to get me to be with,” Lucian said, dropping a bomb I didn’t see coming. “The fact you don’t go into heat is perfectly fine with me, but you’ll need my help to keep that secret. If you can’t produce a child, then to Asturg you’re useless and we don’t need extra mouths to feed.”

“Well, this is comforting,” I muttered.

“It’s not supposed to be comforting,” Lucian snapped. “Nothing about this world you’ve been dumped into will give one shit about your feelings or comforts. It is a harsh, cruel place where only the strongest survive and that’s exactly how they want it.”

“That has been making itself perfectly clear to me at every turn,” I answered bitterly. “So what do you want in exchange for keeping my secret?”

“Letting me fuck you at least once a week. The first time must happen in the next two days before I return to duty,” Lucian said flatly.

If my jaw could have hit the floor, it would’ve. The absolute blasé manner that he just used to make that demand had me reeling. Honestly though, in the incredibly short amount of time I’ve interacted with him, Lucian had been blunt, matter-of-fact, and crass in his words. While I respected that I knew where I stood, I wasn’t sure I enjoyed the brutal honesty.

“So instead of stooping to the level of raping me, you’re just going to blackmail me into sleeping with you? Wow, that is just what I should expect from a man from Asturg, only caring about himself and his needs.” I bit out, my anger licking at me like a warm, comforting flame. “How can you just sit there and ask me that like it’s not a totally fucked up request?”

“Danella, enough,” Lucian barked, making me flinch, and my mouth shut with a click of teeth. “There is no possible way for us to manage staying alive without it involving me fucking you. Babaka is coming to check you in three days to make sure I’ve used you. If she finds that you are still untouched, she will tell my father, General Rasvan. There is no telling what he will do when he learns I’ve defied him but I do know it will mean taking out his anger on you. Trust me, I know from personal experience what that looks like. I barely survived it, which tells me he’d break you like a twig.”

“So, death might be better than living this life,” I yelled at him, refusing to submit to the idea that I had no way out of this.

Lucian let out a dark chuckle. “He won’t let you die, especially if you look like that’s what you want. No, he’d used whatever he could to find your worst fear and used that to manipulate and torture you. If he knew being raped was your trigger, he’d put you in stocks and let any soldier who wanted take their turn with you. Death would be something you begged for and never would get.”

Chapter six

A shiver went through my body at his description of what my fate would be at the hands of his father. Lucian was right, that sounded worse than death and wasn’t something I would ever want to experience. Still, the thought of giving up my body just to survive didn’t seem like a much better situation.

“So my options are, let you fuck me in order to keep from getting noticed by your father. Or if I don’t let you do that, then I’m going to be tortured and beg for death and never get it? Did I get that right?” I asked, the disgust clear in my tone. “Really, I feel like this is a win-lose situation for you and a lose-lose worse situation for me. How can a girl choose which shitty fate she’d like to have for the rest of her existence?”

“Does it give you any comfort to know that the moment my father is dead and I take over I’ll set you free?” Lucian offered. “The way he is doing things now won’t sustain us in the long run, however he’s too powerful for me to do anything about now. He can’t live forever, but I can keep you safe until that time.”

Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands trying to figure out what I’d done wrong in my life to ever deserve to end up like this. Even if I wanted to stand my ground and tell him and his cock to kick rocks, I couldn’t. Staying alive here in this shitty town meant I might find a way to get the three of us out of here. A defeat now didn’t mean it was the end of my options, it just meant I had to suffer for a little longer.

“Fine,” I bit out. “But I have rules.”

Lucian’s brows went up, surprised and intrigued. “They are?”

“You will not kiss me,” I ordered. “Do not cuddle me or in any way make me believe that this is anything more than a deal to keep us both alive. I will allow one night a week. Whatever night you choose is fine, but you will only get your dick wet once every seven days. Of course, if something comes up, it can be altered as long as it keeps me alive. We will need to fake a heat once a year, but you won’t get a free pass for that time unless they plan to see how well you did your job. Bottom line, I’m not your Omega, you are not my Alpha, and we are making a business transaction. I give you sex, and you give me protection until the time comes and your father dies then I’m released from this contract.”

Lucian sat back in his chair, giving me a rather impressed look. “I can see why my father felt you would be of interest to me. A sharp mind along with a sharp tongue can be a deadly combination when they have a body like yours to go along with it.”

“Oh, don’t even with the flattery,” I huffed, rolling my eyes. “Do you agree or not?”

Rubbing his chin with a hand, he seemed to consider my offer. “I agree, but I want to clarify when you say one night a week does that mean I get you all night? Or just once during that night? I’m not a fan of the latter if I’m only going to get relief once a week.”

“Really? That’s your one complaint: how many times can you get off?” I asked incredulously.