Page 174 of The Mistress of All & Torn

“There can be no miracle. We both know that. I would do anything for your happiness if it were in my power. It is not about my pride in keeping my word but about not hurting a worthy man and a good woman who have placed their faith in me! You are the most honourable man I know. Could you be happy knowing I betrayed their trust?”

“I know you would never be happy if you betrayed them. Do you think you could be happy in your marriage?”

“I would be satisfied knowing I had done my duty. Not the sort of felicity I feel with you. But I did know that when I accepted Philip. They were both honest with me. I knew he would never be my husband in essentials but an affectionate companion and friend that needs me. His life would depend on me.”

Some of her words struck him.

“Were you thinking of me when you accepted the arrangement?”

“I have been thinking of you every day since I left Rosings. I attempted to speak to you at Pemberley, but you were already engaged, and then you left.”

“I was certain you despised me then! That you hated me still and that you were only trying to apologise, to repay me for encouraging Bingley to return. Dear Lord, this cannot be. We could have been happy for such a long while, and I destroyed all our hopes. I ruined our lives.”

She turned to face him and silenced him with her fingers. “You must not say that. It was Fate that intervened, perhaps. Nobody knew what would happen. I do not pity myself, nor you. Perhaps it was meant for us to trade our happiness for that of others.”

She rose up onto her toes, caressing his face.

“My love,” he whispered, with all the longing in his soul. “Please let me call you so.”

“I shall call you my love too. And I shall never call any other by that name! If I cannot have the future I desire, I can live in the present. With you.”

Darcy frowned, struggling to understand her meaning.

“There have been several things I have secretly wished to do for a long while, but I abandoned any hope of accomplishing them. One was riding.”

“And the others?”

She lifted her head to him, parting her lips, closing her eyes.

He yearned to kiss her again, but instead he caressed her hair, slowly pulling out the pins, allowing her hair to fall around her shoulders. She opened her eyes to meet his, then closed them again. His fingers glided through her heavy locks, and he kissed her tenderly.

“What are the other things, Elizabeth?”

“Would you swim with me? Now?” she enquired, taking him by surprise. “I have never sea bathed without the machine or the costume. I want to feel the water on my skin, and I shall never dare to do it with anyone else.”

He kissed her hands while his heart ached. If he had not been such a fool, if he had not misjudged her so wrongly for the second time, if he had not hastened into the engagement with Anne, if he had talked to Elizabeth at Pemberley instead of running away… Their suffering was his fault!

“Come,” he said, leading her to the blanket.

He removed his clothes, except for his trousers and shirt, and hung them on some bushes. The moon and the stars were bright, offering nothing to shield Elizabeth’s modesty. Still, she overcame the shame, and she undressed to her chemise. With her hair down, in the moonlight, she wondered what Darcy thought. He seemed to not be breathing as she stood there exposed to his admiration.

He offered her his hand, and they walked hand in hand towards the water, each step taking them deeper.

The thrilling chill surrounded her, and she moaned with delight. They stopped when the water reached her chest and his waist. Her hands held onto his shoulders as the water’s buoyancy raised her to his height, while his arms closed around her.

“What would be the third thing?”

“Surely you must know,” she answered, their gazes locked.

“Elizabeth…”

“I shall never be with any other.”

She started the kiss, shy at first, unsure. He accepted the sweet touch of her lips, then he lifted her and placed her legs around his waist. Her hands encircled his neck, and her body rubbed against his.

His patience soon evaded him, and his mouth captured hers, tasting it, savouring her sweetness, trying to satiate an ever-growing hunger.

His hands began to explore her hips, her thighs, her back, her neck…