Page 72 of Masters of Control

If only she could have found the right words to make him understand, to make him stay, but he’d been so angry, and her brain and her tongue had frozen in place.

Especially because there was some truth to what he had said.

She’d done the interview.

She’d printed out the job offer.

She hadn’t rejected it yet.

Sure, she meant to, but part of her hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how much they were offering. About how much cheaper housing and living expenses would be. About being able to make enough that she didn’t have to depend on anyone else.

About feeling like she was worthy of Q’s attention.

Oof.

The realization hit her right in the gut.

Part of the reason the job was so appealing was if she was making that much money, she would feel better about herself. She’d told Q they weren’t in high school anymore, yet here she was with the same mindset.

She hadn’t told Q about the job for the same reason she hadn’t told him why she couldn’t go to prom.

She’d been ashamed.

Still felt ashamed because she hadn’t been able to equal the amount he spent on her, and she didn’t want him to know how badly she was struggling. So, even though she’d told him about the job search, she’d downplayed it. Maybe if she hadn’t, he would have been more understanding.

Maybe if she’d been honest, he would have reassured her that he didn’t think less of her.

Maybe if she’d been honest, she wouldn’t be left all alone in her apartment, instead of cuddling on the couch with him.

The feeling of loneliness intensified as she wiped some of the tears from her face with the back of her arm and got to her feet. Several long minutes had passed. Q wasn’t coming back. Sniffling, Sam went to get her phone from her purse.

She’d fucked up.

Q wasn’t the only one she hadn’t told about the possible job. She hadn’t told her friends either. Or her dad. Out of all of them, Q knew the most.

She had wanted to keep it all a secret.

That ended now.

She still didn’t know what she was going to do. There was a part of her that really wanted to run away to Ohio. A completely new start, making all the money she’d wanted… and living on her own, comfortably, but with no friends, her dad hours away, and no Q.

What she did know was she didn’t have to go through this heartbreak alone. It was time to start letting people in.

“Hello?” Morgan’s greeting was full of curiosity, which made sense since Sam rarely called. She always texted.

As the tears welled up again, choking her voice, she wished she’d texted this time.

“Morgan, I fucked up.”

Saying the words out loud made them even more real. Sam sat down on the couch as she started crying again.

29

Home for the Holidays

Q

“Wow, somebody needs a happy meal.”