Page 71 of Masters of Control

Holy fuck.

“Q… I… it’s not what it looks like.”

The stammering statement made his head snap up. Anger roiling through him, he very carefully put down the glass he was holding, pulling back on the instinct that said to throw the water over the offensive paperwork.

“It looks like you printed out a job offer from a practice in Ohio.” His voice sounded odd to his ears. Flat. Almost robotic. He pressed his hands against his thighs to stop the fine tremor going through them. “The letter says they loved talking to you, so I’m assuming you interviewed with them.”

Damn his ability to read so fast. It hadn’t taken more than a quick glance at the papers for the words to take shape and convey their meaning in his head.

His heart was beginning to pound harder and faster in his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe and to think. There was a white noise ringing in his ears, but he made himself focus when she turned bright red.

“Okay, so it is kind of what it looks like, but that’s not what I meant…” She looked at him helplessly, her expression tugging at his heart strings, but he was too angry to let it affect him.

“So, what did you mean? Because if it’s exactly what it looks like, then it looks like you were thinking about taking a job in a completely different state, and you hadn’t even mentioned it to me.”

Really it was the fact that she hadn’t said anything to him. She’d mentioned looking for a new job, but she sure as hell had said nothing about looking so far away or doing an interview.

“Because I wasn’t going to take it.”

“Then why did you do the interview? Why is the offer printed out? Have you told them no yet?” Q rapped his knuckles against the papers, hard enough to hurt, and he welcomed the physical pain as a distraction to the way his chest was starting to hurt. He tried to take a deep breath, but it was like the air got caught in his throat, making his lungs ache from the lack. When Sam’s mouth snapped shut, he knew she hadn’t told them no yet. “Were you just going to keep this a secret until I found out you were moving one day? Or had already moved?”

“No, of course not!” She reached up to rub her forehead, her eyes filling with tears as if it was finally hitting home to her how upset he was—and now she was upset too. Good, she should be. He’d just had the rug yanked out from under him, and she’d been the one to do it. Acting innocent, as if she hadn’t done anything wrong, was only making him even angrier. “I would never do anything like that.”

“All evidence to the contrary. This seems like it’s a pattern with you.”

“We’re not in high school anymore!”

“Then stop acting like it! Why the hell didn’t you say anything to me?”

“I told you I was applying to jobs.” Her voice wavered, her hands twisting in front of her. She said the words weakly, lacking any force behind them, and the fact she wasn’t apologizing and still making excuses made his temper flare.

“You didn’t tell me you were thinking about moving out of state for one. You didn’t even mention the interview or the job offer. That tells me you didn’t want me to know, which means you knew it would be a problem and your solution was to not say a word about it.” Fuck, it felt like his chest was caving in on itself, and it took all of his willpower to force his shoulders back. He’d been getting in deeper and deeper—hell, he was fucking in love with her—and she’d been thinking about leaving the state.

Thank God he hadn’t said the words to her yet. At least he’d have a little dignity left intact—what little he had left after last night. And he intended to keep it.

He couldn’t imagine what her reaction would have been to find out he’d fallen in love with her while she was planning on possibly leaving him.

This was so much worse than high school.

“I have to go.”

He started walking toward the door, moving as quickly as he could without running. The small apartment, which had always felt cozy, now felt too small, and the walls were closing in around him. He couldn’t breathe properly. Not when he was in such a confined space with her.

He needed to get out before he said something he’d regret.

“Q!”

Hand on the knob, he looked over his shoulder. Sam stared at him, wringing her hands in front of her, tears sliding down her cheeks. The look in her eyes nearly made him turn back around and comfort her… but what the hell would he be comforting her for?

For lying to him? For misleading him? For saying he was her boyfriend, then not actually behaving like they were in a relationship?

He shook his head and turned away.

Sam

When the door slammed behind Q, Sam dropped to her knees, pressing her hands over her heart, which felt like a great, gaping space in her chest. Tears dripped down her cheeks onto her shirt, creating two huge wet splotches, and she barely even cared. It hardly mattered.

Q had just walked out of her life as quickly as he blown into it.