For… I don’t know, thirty minutes, I’ve been lying here listening to the world forget about me beyond the barrier of my window.A helicopter went by a bit ago; its deafening rotors had me burying my head under the pillows wishing for death.
People talk about being numb when they're coming down, yet never mention how sensitive you are to everything around you.That's where I'm at now, andfuckit's torture.
Elias's deep voice is rumbling out in the kitchen.If I had to guess, he's at the island talking to his own ghosts.Nah, he wouldn't.It's strange to think about the minds of other people and how theirs aren’t screwed up like mine is.
Makes mespecial.
What a loser.
Like, what do you mean the world is still?You don't see the walls rolling like ocean waves while you stare?The floor doesn't breathe and swallow your feet with every step, starving for human skin?Stars don't twinkle and explode in real time?Trees don't reach for you in the shadows with talon-like claws that creep across the floor?
Demons don't join you in the mirror, angels don't look at you with pity through the eyes of your family, and hell doesn't burn at your back when you're swimming through steam in the shower?
Do they not see ANYTHING?
I catch one-sided bits and pieces of his conversation.Even when he's trying his damndest to chase away my demons, he's working.Every once in a while, I hear the faint click of his mouse.Of course he doesn't use the trackpad on his laptop; the dinosaur has a corded one because batteries are the enemy.
"Yeah, got it;" he grunts, then sighs audibly.
I bet you he’s rubbing his face and dragging his hand through his hair.
"I said I got it, boy," he sneers this time.
Told you.
His frustration makes me smile—it’s aimed at someone else for once.Maybe that means today’s the day I’ll start feeling better.
My body jerks when I plummet to the Earth and the angels catch me right before I smack against the hard ground.Friction from their last-second touch sends heat exploding through me, jumpstarting every sense I’ve ever had.
I roll off my back onto my right side, acutely aware of my bedding and the way its barbed fibers chafe my abused skin.I can't escape—mummified in my own bed by cotton I once bought for comfort.One leg's tacked to the mattress, unable to move or squirm, keeping me hostage.I kick and claw, but it doesn’t budge, setting off a barrage of warning sirens.
"Hey, hey!Sadie."I hear Elias holler from a lightyear away.
Low in my chest, pressure builds.It slithers up my throat to feed the throb threatening to blow my eardrums out.
Off.
Off, off.
OFF.
"Sadie!"
Get me out, please!
My heart’s ready to burst through my rickety ribs.It tricks my lungs with sporadic stutters that refute air and deprive me.
A cold blast scores along my right arm, into my shoulder then chest.Before I know it, Jack Frost has his frigid hands rabidly trying to collect my gasps.
"There you are.Breathe, Sunshine."
I am, I...I think I am.Right now, there’s a swarm of bats stretching their wings in the depths of my chest.
"Slow it down, you're going to hyperventilate."His dangerously smooth timber helps fractionally.
Numbness starts at my toes, the only sign my body’s calming down.It eases up both legs into my hips, torso, neck, and lingers under the gentle brush of Elias’s roughened fingers as they push a lock of hair out of my face.
"Think you should move around some.Can't stay in bed fighting the sheets all day.Also, your medication’s due in an hour, and I need to make a quick run."
