He started to turn away, likely because of the silence that fell over us, but I wasn’t about to let him get away that easily. With a single step, I closed the distance between us. I slid an arm around his waist and tugged him close, cupping his cheek in my hand. I made him look at me.
“I think I’ve been falling for you since that first kiss during the screen test. But I’d noticed you before then.”
“You did?” Asher squeaked, then cleared his throat. “You did?”
“You’ve been through a lot of shit, Asher. Everyone knows how rough it was for you to lose Leo. When you came to work for Lukas, you were this sad, scared kid who was just trying to keep his head above water. You rallied, though, and you showed everyone what you’re made of. You’re strong and brave. And after a while it became impossible not to notice you.”
Asher gripped my waist. “I’m a mess.”
“Everyone’s a mess, Asher. You’re just more honest about yours, that’s all. I’m a mess. Blue’s a mess. Rex is a mess. I’m sure even Lukas is a mess.”
Asher nodded and Blue, having dealt with momma cat and the babies, slid in behind him. I met his gaze over Asher’s shoulder and watched him brush a kiss against the shell of Asher’s ear.
“You might be a mess, but you’re our mess.” Blue’s eyes shone with affection. He’d say the words eventually. Or not. But love was more than saying a string of eight letters and calling it a day. Love was showing up. Love was lifting up the people you cared about. Love was something you lived, not just something you said.
“We should get these little guys home and get them settled in.” Over Asher’s shoulder, I stole a kiss from Blue, then I stole one from Asher before pulling away.
Asher looked at Blue. “Are you really going to keep them? All of them?”
Blue linked hands with Asher and tugged him toward the exit. “Oh, sweetheart. I plan to keep each and every one of you.”
THIRTY-TWO
BLUE
My apartment was so notready for cats. What had I been thinking when I said I’d bring them home? Adopting one cat felt like a nice, normal thing to do. Adopting four at once felt a little insane. But the look on Asher’s face as he fussed over them and got them settled into the spot I’d dubbed “the cat corner” made it all worth it.
“I should have thought this through.” I raked a hand through my hair.
Asher looked stricken, and it made me wonder what was going through his head.
“I just mean that your place is bigger,” I said. “Four cats might be too much for this space. Is it even fair to them?”
Asher cradled one of the babies close to his chest. He’d sat on the floor to set up their kitty corner and seemed content to stay right there. Had I just lost my boyfriend to a bunch of kittens?
“We can’t take them back.” Asher’s lip trembled, and he snatched his gaze away from me.
“Of course not.” I dropped down to the floor and sat next to him. “I just meant that maybe someone who has a bigger apartment than me,” I paused to nudge him with my elbow, “might want to have them at his place instead. Where they have more room to be kittens.”
Asher turned his head and looked at me. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. I love animals and it’s wild that I don’t have any, considering what I do, but when we got these guys home, I remembered I don’t have pets because I live in a small studio.”
“I’m sure they don’t mind.” Asher stroked the top of the kitten’s head, then put him back with his littermates to sleep. He leaned against me. “I’d really like to have them, though. If you’re sure your apartment is too small for them, that is.”
“You already named them, didn’t you?” Jax asked. He’d been leaning up against the wall and watching Asher with the kittens the same way I’d been watching him.
It struck me then that these men had confessed their feelings to me, for me, and I’d said nothing back. I’d still been reeling from the events of the night. The influx of animals. The way Jax and Asher had stayed and pitched in where they were able. They’d not flinched away even when the night dragged on.
Jax and Asher had shown up and supported me without being asked. Without expecting anything in return. It was a far cry from the men I used to date. From the way I used to see any little sign of affection as a declaration of love.
The old Blue was desperate for something without even knowing what it was. Time and time again, I’d been a storm, crashing against the rocks, trying to get something out of people who had nothing to give me. They just wanted to take from me.
Jax and Asher were different. I never felt like they took anything from me or like they were only in it for themselves. Jax had crushed on me for a long time. And Asher, well, he hadn’t,but he was sweet and so honest about what he felt that it was almost painful.
“Blue?”
Asher calling my name dragged me out of my thoughts and back into the present.
