Which words did he want to hear? That I was terrified I already liked them both too much to do this? Or that I was tooinfatuated with them to stop myself? There weren’t adequate words to describe the conflicting emotions inside me. My carefully crafted rules were holding on by a thread. My patience was rice-paper thin and just as fragile.
“Do you want to watch, Blue?” Asher’s voice had a sultry quality to it that made my cock throb. “Do you want to look, but not touch?”
God, the idea of denying myself like that made me whimper. At my sides, my fingers twitched as my brain tried to decide who to reach for first. Jax looked like he wanted to eat me alive, like any moment his resolve was going to snap and he was going to haul me in close and kiss me until I forgot I had rules to begin with.
And why did I have rules? Because I was too needy. Too soft. I fell too easily for people who I shouldn’t have given the time of day. Time had made me older, but maybe not wiser, because here I was, debating throwing caution to the wind. Sure, the camera was rolling, allowing me to believe that I wasn’t actually compromising anything, but I knew that was a thin veil of bullshit. Plausible deniability.
If anyone deserved softness, though, it was Asher. I’d been thinking about him a lot lately and wondering who he was underneath all his grief and despair. If I said no, if I backed down, I’d never know and that was the final straw that made me reach for him.
“He’s irresistible, isn’t he, Jax?” I slid my hand under Asher’s shirt and tugged at the hem, pulling it up as I moved to stand behind him without a single shit given about camera angles.
Asher turned his head and looked at me like he was searching for the lies in my words. His brow furrowed, confused, when he found none. There was no reason to lie to him. My rules were already barely holding up, but Asher deserved to hear the truth.He deserved to know that he had more options than to keep pining for someone who would never want him.
It was obvious that something else happened and that Asher was going to use sex as a distraction from that. For now, that was fine. If he needed some time to process things, okay. If he needed to lose himself in someone, then it was a good thing Jax and I were both available for him. I didn’t mind being his distraction. That made it easier for me to pull his shirt up over his head and run my hands over his bare skin. If I was having sex for a purpose, that made it easier for me to pretend that I was still in control, still following my rules when it was so clear that I’d probably broken all of them already.
Bending forward, I leaned past Ash and chased Jax’s mouth for a kiss. Kissing Jax was dangerous for me because it made me feel things I tried my hardest not to feel and dream of things I had no business dreaming about. Like waking up next to him, his arms around me and his stupid basketball shorts nowhere to be seen.
Jax sank a hand into my hair and deepened the kiss. His tongue tangled with mine, and I thought maybe I could spend forever just like this and then Jax was pulling away and Asher’s mouth was there, sliding into place, stealing a kiss for himself. Our previous encounter played behind us, providing a filthy soundtrack to spur us on now. Not that we needed the encouragement. There was something about the three of us together that just worked. That just clicked. And I found myself wondering if it would be as good if it were two of us. Jax and me. Or Asher and me. Or maybe just them.
Asher pulled away and tried to kiss Jax, but Jax buried his face in the curve of Asher’s neck and slid his hands down Asher’s back.
And I stood there and watched. One hand on my dick, the other sliding into Asher’s soft hair.
“Take your dick out, Blue,” Jax said. “Our pretty boy here wants to suck you.”
Asher’s attention snapped to Jax. “Pretty boy?” Asher stared at Jax, then shrugged. “I’ll worry about that later.”
He turned to me and dragged a hand down my chest, pressing hard enough for his fingertips to leave little trails. His hand settled on the fly of my pants, and he tugged at it. When it didn’t undo, he tried again. After a third attempt, he looked up at me, unable to hold back his smile or the hue of embarrassment that tinted his cheeks pink. “They make that look so easy.”
I reached for my fly and made a show of undoing the button and slowly dragging the zipper down. “I’d say you watch too much porn, but that feels hypocritical.”
Jax laughed, reminding me how much I loved hearing it. His laugh was deep and rich, and it always made me feel like I won a prize. His laughter ended when I reached into my pants and freed my cock. My pants and underwear were pulled down just enough so they wouldn’t be in the way of Asher’s mouth. I thought about ditching the clothes altogether, but I didn’t want to be the only one naked.
Asher slid off Jax’s lap and knelt on the floor in front of me. Wide, eager eyes stared up at me, begging for a distraction. I could see the way he held himself too tight. Too rigid. Too wound up. Asher was looking to run away from something, and as much as I wondered if I should stop whatever was happening between us, I didn’t want to.
He needed me, and I was unable to turn him away. Even if all he needed was my body, I’d gladly give it to him.
His eyelids fluttered shut, and he leaned in, opening his mouth. His tongue shot out and licked the tip of my dick. Something so simple, so basic, had no business feeling as good as it did. Before he could really get going, though, he paused and looked at Jax.
“You too?” Uncertainty made Asher’s voice waver a little. God, he was so fucking vulnerable that it made my heart hurt for him. The urge to protect him surged through me, not for the first time. There was something about Asher that made me want to cover him in bubble wrap and keep him safe.
Jax got to his feet and shoved his basketball shorts off and kicked them aside. His cock was hard and heavy and swung like a fucking bat between his legs, but Asher looked at it like he’d won the lottery. He licked the tip of Jax’s cock the same way he’d done to mine, and then he looked up at Jax and flicked his gaze to me.
“Now kiss.”
Jax smirked at Asher. “So bossy,” Jax replied, even as he angled his body to mine and reached for me. Even as Asher’s hands wrapped around both our cocks as he knelt between them, his expression a picture of satisfaction and smugness but maybe also some affection there too. Like maybe my dick wasn’t the only reason Asher wanted me around.
Before I could overthink things, Jax grabbed me and pulled me to him, crashing our mouths together like he couldn’t live another moment without kissing me. And if my mind was blown by the ferocity of his kiss, it was fucking gone when Asher wrapped his lips around my cock and enveloped the head in the wet heat of his mouth. His tongue danced around the head, making me shiver and jolt when he found the sensitive part under the ridge of the head or toyed with my slit, something I’d always liked maybe more than I should.
His mouth left my cock and then in the next moment, Jax groaned into my mouth. Ending the kiss, I looked down so I could watch Asher. The sight of him on his knees between us did something to me. It made me want to see him there forever.
“He’s so fucking pretty, Blue,” Jax said to me while pushing the hair off Asher’s forehead. Ash practically purred as he leanedinto the touch. “Makes me want to do all kinds of wonderful, dirty, depraved things to him.”
Asher’s eyes fluttered shut, and he took more of Jax’s cock into his mouth, his cheeks hollowing.
“Let’s take this to the bedroom then,” I said, trying to keep my hips from thrusting my cock into Asher’s face, demanding a turn.
Asher hummed his agreement, and Jax nearly lost his mind. He pulled out of Asher’s mouth and helped him to his feet. Jax hoisted Asher up, and Asher’s legs wrapped around his waist, arms latching on around his neck. “I’ve got Ashy. You grab the camera.”
