“After. The plan was originally to make you believe the child was yours.” She chanced a glance at him. “I assumed you were eager to consummate the marriage.”
His eyes were as cold and hard as emeralds.
“But the guilt was crushing me,” she said. “I couldn’t find the right moment to tell you the truth, and I was worried about your reaction. I still am. But then last night, when you were here, I did want to tell you. But the spasms became too painful, and I couldn’t speak. I managed the situation poorly, and I apologise for having lied to you.”
He rested his chin on his fist, but his movements were unnaturally slow. “You never meant to marry me.”
She pulled the covers up. “Marrying you was the solution to a serious problem with few choices.” It sounded awful, but there was no point in making it sound less awful.
“Who’s the father?”
She closed her fists. How could she tell him it was Patrick? The truth would destroy him, and she wasn’t sure how he would react. No, she knew. He would be furious, and rightly so.
“I can’t tell you. Please don’t force me to reveal his name. Besides, he isn’t in London anymore.”
He flexed his fingers open and closed. “Were you forced?”
“No.” She turned towards him. “He was honest from the beginning and told me he had no intention of marrying me, that he wanted only to enjoy himself. He had rules about the quick affair.”
“Such a gentleman.” His tone was low and lethal.
“I agreed with his idea. I just wanted to try to be with a man and enjoy myself. I was curious and didn’t want to marry him.”
“Do you love him?” So much pain rang out of his voice.
“No, I don’t. I never did.”
He released a breath through clenched teeth. A long silence, heavy with her guilt, stretched between them.
She cleared her throat. “I guess you want me to leave. I’ll leave as soon as I can travel. Do not worry.”
“No.” The brusque word was an order. “You’ll stay here.”
She was surprised. “Do you still want me to be your wife?”
He rose from the armchair to sit on the bed next to her. A whiff of his cedarwood scent reached her, covering that of blood. “I’m not going to lie. Your deceit hurt me. You tricked me into marrying you, and I’m angry.”
She lowered her gaze because the glint in his eyes was hard to meet.
He took her chin and gently lifted it. “But you almost died, and that had me thinking.”
It made her think as well.
“Think about what?” she said.
“The moments we spent together when we laughed and were happy, were they part of the plan?”
“No.” She gripped his hand. “I enjoyed every single one. They were honest, happy moments.”
If her answer satisfied him, he didn’t show any sign. “Do you care about me at all?” Pain rang out in his voice.
“I do.”
Again, his face remained unfathomable. “My grandmother doesn’t know the child wasn’t mine.”
“Why didn’t you tell her?”
“She wouldn’t forgive you,” he said. “She would want you to leave. Please don’t tell her anything. It’ll only start more discussions and arguments I don’t want to deal with right now.” He exhaled, rubbing his forehead. “I took an oath. I swore to be by your side no matter what, and I meant every word.” He faced her. “No more lies. No more secrets.”
