Page 130 of In Love and Revenge

‘What happened?’

‘The guy, Montgomery Wyndham, liked to do business in ... unusual ways. He invited me to his building in London. His offices were on the top floor. Fifty floors up. And he had a roof garden.’

I swallow, nausea swirling in my gut.

‘He wanted to talk outside?’ I say in understanding.

Rafael huffs. ‘Not just that. He was having a charity abseil down the side of his building that day. Raising money for children with cancer because his daughter was being treated for leukaemia.’

‘And you had to watch them going over the edge? That must have been hard, I’m so sorry.’

‘It was. I started guzzling down champagne to get through it. I just needed to get the contracts signed, then I could get the hell out of there. My heart was racing, Aurora. I thought it was going to give out on me right there. It felt like I was dying.’

His voice cracks and something inside me splits wide open. ‘It must have been awful.’

‘Mr Wyndham thought it would be a great start to our business relationship, and stellar publicity, if we were to abseil it together.’

‘He what?’ I stare at him in disbelief, images of a traumatised and panicked Rafael searing into my brain and making me want to burst into tears.

‘God-awful idea,’ he mutters. ‘The safety team there talked him out of it because I had no experience. But I’d already started drinking more to quell the bloody ... the bloodyfearthat I was going to have to do it in order not to let my father down.’

‘He’d have understood. He’s your father.’

He shakes his head with a heavy sigh. ‘Your father would have understood. Mine wouldn’t.’

‘So what happened? Why didn’t he sign the deal?’

Rafael’s gaze drops from mine as his brow knits like the memory is almost too painful to recount.

‘I was pretty drunk, though I didn’t realise how drunk until I made a comment about it being stupid to throw yourself off a building. He didn’t appreciate that, so I went inside and tried to sober up. I found an office with a coffee machine, and I made myself one. But then ... Fuck,’ he curses quietly.

‘But then?’ I encourage.

He lifts his bloodshot eyes to mine. ‘I don’t want you to look at me differently, Aurora. I was drunk, it was a stupid mistake.’

Images of him wrecking the office out of frustration or throwing up all over the desk fill my head. ‘What did you do?’

‘This ... woman came in. Smart, attractive. She could see I was freaking out, and she offered to help, told me I needed to relax and think about something else. And then she ...kissedme.’

Sourness creeps over my tongue. ‘You had sex with her?’

Rafael’s silence speaks volumes.

‘Inhisoffice,’ Rafael says slowly. ‘She was ...’ He swallows. ‘... bent over his desk when he caught us.’

The visual of Rafael fucking another woman is hard to stomach. I press my lips together, ignoring the sting of bile in my throat, even though it happened years ago.

‘Right,’ I murmur.

He winces. ‘She was his wife.’

I snap my eyes up to his, clamping my hand over my mouth. ‘You had sex with his wife on his desk? Rafael, that’s ...’

‘I lost the deal. My father was livid. And he still doesn’t know why. He thinks I just couldn’t keep it in my pants. He doesn’t know the full story.’ He looks at me with shining eyes. ‘I’m broken, Aurora.’

‘No, you’re not! You are not broken,’ I sob. ‘You’re not. You were just a child. You needed help.’

‘My mother wanted to take me to a therapist, but my father shut it down. He said men aren’t made from talking about their feelings, but from taking action. He made me clear the rest of that ivy from the balcony with him as soon as I was home from hospital. The first time I shook so much ... I wet myself. He made me carry on without getting cleaned up. He said facing up to it was the only way to get over it.’